HOW TO REMAIN CALM UNDER PRESSURE & OVERCOME PROBLEMS IN 9 STEPS

 January 14, 2015 by Brian Tracy 
 Personal Success  how to overcome problems,  how to solve problems in life

Recently Kenny from Facebook asked me,

“How do you stay motivated and keep your cool when things are going badly around you?”

Here are some tips on how to stay positive and motivated when times get tough and you face problems. If you want to learn how to overcome your problems and stay motivated, keep reading…

1) DON’T BLAME OTHERS

To be your own turnaround specialist, to take complete control over your life in a crisis, the first thing you must do is to accept 100% responsibility for yourself and for everything that happens from this minute forward.

Accept responsibility and take charge. You especially must keep yourself positive and focused. You do this by reminding yourself and repeating these words:

‘‘I am responsible! I am responsible! I am responsible!’’

Above all, refuse to blame anyone for anything. Anger and negative emotions of all kinds are dependent upon blame for their very existence. As soon as you stop blaming other people for what has happened and take responsibility for the future, your negative emotions cease, your mind becomes calm and clear, and you begin to make better decisions.

As soon as you stop blaming other people for what has happened and take responsibility for the future, your negative emotions cease, your mind becomes calm and clear, and you begin to make better decisions.

2) HOW TO REMAIN CALM UNDER PRESSURE

The starting point of staying calm under pressure is for you to refuse to react automatically and unthinkingly. Instead, take a deep breath to calm your mind and then think carefully about your next words and actions. Imagine that everyone is watching.

Imagine that everyone is watching. Imagine that this situation is a test to see what you are truly made of. Imagine that everyone is waiting to see how you will respond.

Resolve to set a good example, to be a role model for others, to demonstrate the correct way to deal with a major problem, as if you were giving a lesson.

3) GET THE FACTS

Instead of overreacting, keep yourself calm by asking questions of the other people involved. Listen patiently to the answers.

If there is a solution, your job is to find it by fully understanding what has happened before you respond.

4) ASK QUESTIONS

Ask key questions and listen carefully to the answers. Here are some that will help you get at the facts: What is the situation exactly?

• What is the situation exactly?
• What has happened?
• How did it happen?
• When did it happen?
• Where did it happen?
• What are the facts?
• How do we know that these facts are accurate?
• Who was involved?
• Who is responsible for doing (or not doing) certain things?

The very act of asking questions and gathering facts keeps you calm and increases your courage and confidence.

The more facts you have, the stronger and more capable you will feel about making good decisions to solve the problem and get through the crunch.

5) WRITE IT DOWN

Begin by asking, ‘‘What, exactly, is the problem?’’ If you are working by yourself, write down a clear statement of the problem on a piece of paper.

We find that if you can get the problem down on paper it starts to solve itself. Then write down what all of the possible solutions to the problem.

You will find that when you write out your problem and solutions, you will be able to identify the best way to solve it quickly. It may not seem like a problem at all after you write it down.

6) TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT

By trying something different or taking a different approach to solving a problem. You may find a new, more beneficial way to go about things.

When something fails, by taking a different approach and solving what went wrong the first time, will help you improve over the long run.

7) COMMUNICATE WITH OTHERS

Sometimes, talking over the problem with a spouse or trusted friend will help immensely to keep you calm and controlled. Go for a long walk and review the situation, examining it from every angle, seeking a possible solution. Remain optimistic, no matter what is going on.

Look for something good in the problem or situation. Very often, what appears to be a major setback is an opportunity in disguise. The complete failure of a project, process, or business venture may be exactly what you need because it may compel you to channel your time and resources in another direction.

8) MAKE A DECISION

No matter what happens, seek the valuable lesson in every difficulty and setback.

Within every problem you face, there is the seed of an equal or greater benefit or advantage. When you discipline yourself to look for the good in the situation, and to seek the valuable lessons that the situation or crisis might contain, you automatically remain calm, positive, and optimistic.

As a result, all the powers of your wonderful mind remain available to you to solve the problem or resolve the crisis.

9) GET BUSY SOLVING THE PROBLEM

Get so busy taking action that and solving the problem and bringing about a solution, that you don’t have time to worry or think about the problem anymore. The only real antidote to worry, is purposeful action in the direction of your goals.

Instead of becoming upset or doubting yourself and your abilities, decide to take action, any action, to resolve the difficulty and get yourself through the crunch. Remind yourself that problems come not to obstruct, but to instruct. Related article: The 10-Step Process to Solve Any Problem

CONCLUSION

When times get tough and you are faced with any of life’s complicated problems, stay motivated knowing that using this technique you can recognize and develop strategies to solve any problem.http://www.briantracy.com/blog/personal-success/how-to-remain-calm-under-pressure-overcome-problems-in-9-steps/?lid=title

Disconnected Days

I have a problem.
A very serious problem.
It’s destroying my (productive) life.
My problem: I am easily seduced.
It seems I am weak.
Every day I set out to be disciplined.
Every day I promise I will not stray.
But every day somehow the siren’s song of email, texts, phone calls and social alerts always prostrate me.
I submit.
I give in.
And once again the grand intentions of my day are squandered in the vortex of reacting to the calls of other people’s agenda.
But no more.
I am no longer going to rely on my good intentions, my well-laid plans for the day or my will power to stay the course.

When I set out into the wide blue ocean of my day, where the siren lay, I am going to tie myself to my mast AND put wax in my ears.
I don’t need to hear their songs at all.
Here is the hard truth…
When I prioritize my day never does checking email or responding to unsolicited communications ever make my list, but somehow, someway it always seems to consume much of my day.
Is this true for you too?
We are living in drastic times.
The sirens have multiplied. They are now everywhere, all around us, all the time.
We sit in front of them all day, we carry them around with us in our pocket and even lay them next to our head as we sleep.
Their songs have never been so loud or so relentless.
Their songs have never been more tantalizing or more seductive.
We live in an era of constant and never ending distraction.
Drastic times require drastic measures.
Thus, my goal for 2015 is: 100 Disconnected Days*.
*Disconnected Day: A day focused on creative production or rest and recovery off the digital communication grid.
Yes, 100 days includes weekends.
I know that doesn’t sound difficult, but in 2014 I had ZERO Disconnected Days.
ZERO days where I was not connected/distracted by email, phone calls, texts or social media communications.
To go from 0 to 100 will be a giant feat.
To have 100 days completely dedicated to creative production and some revitalization will give me the foundation I need to crush the productivity of 2014, which was my most productive year to date.
How about you?
How many truly Disconnected Days did you have in 2014?
How often were the intentions and productive plans of your day sacrificed to the seductive siren’s song of email and the rest?
I invite you to join me on this challenge: 100 Disconnected Days.
Use them to do focused project work and/or to recover and revitalize.
Even just one workday and one weekend day would get you to the goal.
But be warned.
If you do choose to join me, this will be harder than it sounds.
The siren’s songs are so lovely and so beautiful and you are emotionally and psychologically addicted to hearing them.
Even with wax in your ears and your hands and feet bound, you will be tempted to surrender.
You might not think so now, but when you are sailing through your day it will be hard not to stray.
I ask you to keep in mind the incredible production, value and impact you can create once you are no longer under the spell of the wicked mermaids of distraction.
You will need the help of those around you to bind you tighter if they see you trying to wiggle loose.
Below is the auto-responder I have on my email during one of my Disconnected Days.
I suggest you use something similar.
It will keep you honest in the court of public commitment.

Subject: [AUTO] Disconnected…
…from The Matrix
Today is a Disconnected Day*
Know that your message has been received and will be dealt with when I plug back in.
-Darren
*Disconnected Day: A day focused on creative production or rest and recovery off the digital communication grid. Learn more about Disconnected Days here.
2015 Goal: 100 DDs.
This auto-responder helps keep me accountable to this goal.
If you hear from me on a day you receive this auto-responder then I have failed.
P.S. This message is AUTO generated.

Update: As of today I have completed 5 DDs.
Here is what I can report:

• It’s absolutely stupefying what you can get done in a day when you are able to be 100% focused and undisturbed for a full 24 hours. This alone is a HUGE benefit and a reason why everyone should commit to 100 DDs, and every leader should insist each of their people do so as well.
• In the stillness I am able to access a creative depth I would not have otherwise.
• During a DD I experience a great decompression of frenetic energy build up which has all sorts of additional benefits.
• Knowing I am not expected to be available gives me great emotional and psychological relief, thus full access to my power of presence.
• It’s training everyone around me not to be dependent on me, thus taking more leadership themselves
• http://darrenhardy.success.com/2015/01/disconnected-days/ 

Stephen Covey on Developing Emotional Intelligence

“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” ? Oscar Wilde
Emotional Intelligence is essentially an ability, capacity, or skill to assess, manage, and regulate the emotions of yourself and others.
Why is emotional intelligence such a big deal? …
If you can’t manage your emotions, you crumble or snap under stress. If you can’t manage your emotions, you can’t motivate or inspire yourself effectively to do the things you need to do.  If you can’t manage your emotions, you can’t use your best thinking.  You get stuck in your lizard brain, and cut off from your ability to respond more effectively when it counts.
If you can’t tune into others’ emotions and demonstrate empathy, you’ll have a hard time connecting with others.  You’ll have a hard time creating rapport.  If you can’t see and feel the emotions of others, then you’ll have a hard time influencing or leading others effectively.  As a manager, you’ll be the pointy-haired boss.
Yeah, emotional intelligence is a big deal.
It’s a key for leaders and it’s a key for leadership.  Whether it’s self-leadership, or leading others, emotional intelligence picks up where other intelligence leaves off.  To put it another way …
“”No one cares how much you know until they first know how much you care about them.” (See The Only Management Strategy You’ll Ever Need)
In the book, The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness, Stephen Covey acknowledges that there’s a lack of literature on how to develop emotional intelligence, and shares an approach for how to develop emotional intelligence using the 7 Habits.

The Five Primary Components of Emotional Intelligence

Stephen Covey shares the five primary components of emotional intelligence:

1. Self-Awareness — The ability to reflect on one’s own life, grow in self-knowledge, and use that knowledge to improve onseself and either consume or compentsate for weaknesses.
2. Personal Motivation — What really excites people — the vision, values, goals, hopes, desires, and passion that make up their priorities.
3. Self-Regulation — The ability to manage onseself twoard achieving one’s vision and values.
4. Empathy — The ability to see how other people see and feel about things.
5. Social Skills — How people resolve differences, solve problems, produce creative solutions, and interact optimally to further their joint purposes.

The 7 Habits and Principles

According to Stephen Covey, here is a simple look at the 7 Habits and the principles that they encapsulate:

Habit	Principle
Habit 1 – Be Proactive	Responsibility / Initiative
Habit 2 – Begin with the End in Mind	Vision / Values
Habit 3 – Put First Things First	Integrity / Execution
Habit 4 – Think Win-Win	Mutual Respect / Benefit
Habit 5 – Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood	Mutual Understanding
Habit 6 – Synergize	Creative Cooperation
Habit 7 – Sharpen the Saw	Renewal

Developing Emotional Intelligence Using the 7 Habits

Stephen Covey shares an approach to developing emotional intelligence using the 7 Habits outlines above:

Emotional Intelligence Component	Habit
Self-Awareness	Habit 1 – Be Proactive
Personal Motivation	Habit 2 – Begin with the End in Mind
Self-Regulation	Habit 3 – Put First Things First Habit 7 – Sharpen the Saw
Empathy	Habit 5 – Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
Social Skills	Habit 4 – Think Win-Win Habit 5 – Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood Habit 6 – Synergize

Practicing Your Emotional Intelligence with the 7 Habits

Here is a brief summary of how Stephen Covey says you can practice the 7 Habits to develop your emotional intelligence:

1. Self-Awareness – Covey says, “You are aware of the space between stimulus and response, you’re aware of your genetic, biological inheritance, your upbringing, and the environmental forces around you. … You  sense you are or can become the creative force of your own life.  This is your most fundamental decision.” Practice Habit 1 – Be Proactive.
2. Personal Motivation – Covey says, “… decide what your highest priorities, goals, and values are. … This decision to direct your own life is your primary decision.” Practice Habit 2 – Begin with the End in Mind.
3. Self-Regulation – Covey says, “ … once you decide what your priorities are, then you live by them; it is the habit of integrity, the habit of self-mastery, of doing what you intend to do; of living your values.  Then constantly renew yourself.  Execution strategies and tactical decisions are your secondary decisions.” Practice Habit 3 – Put First Things First and Habit 7 – Sharpen the Saw.
4. Empathy – Covey says, “It’s learning to transcend your own autobiography  and get into the head and hearts of other people.  It’s becoming socially sensitive and aware of the situation before attempting to be understood, influence others, or make decisions or judgments.” Practice Habit 5 – Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood.
5. Social Communication Skills – Covey says, “You think in terms of mutual benefit and mutual respect, you strive for mutual understanding in order to have creative cooperation.” Practice Habit 4 – Think Win-Win, Habit 5 – Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood, and Habit 6 – Synergize.

One simple way you can practice each day is when you are talking.  See if you can echo back what you hear the other person say, in a way that they “feel” heard.  This is a big deal.  It’s not listening until you think you’ve heard them … it’s listening in a way where they *feel* you’ve heard them.
The difference, is all the difference.  That’s what this is about.http://sourcesofinsight.com/stephen-covey-on-developing-emotional-intelligence/

Personal Development-Self Awareness

How Brian Tracy Sets Goals

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” — T. S. Eliot
Brian Tracy has an twelve-step goal-setting methodology that he’s taught to more than a million people. If you follow his approach …
You will amaze yourself.
With his goal-setting methodology, he’s seen people transform.  They are astounded by what they start to accomplish.  They become a more powerful, positive, and effective person.  They feel like a winner every hour of the day.  They have a tremendous sense of personal control and direction.  They have more energy and enthusiasm.
And, as a result, they accomplish more in a few weeks or months than the average person might accomplish in several years.
In his best-selling book, Goals!: How to Get Everything You Want — Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible, Brian Tracy shows us a repeatable approach and proven practice for setting and achieving any goal.

12 Steps to Set and Achieve Any Goal

Here are the 12 steps to set and achieve any goal according to Tracy:

1. Have a Desire: What Do You Really Want?
2. Believe That Your Goal is Achievable
3. Write Your Goal Down
4. Determine Your Starting Point
5. Determine Why You Want It
6. Set a Deadline
7. Identify the Obstacles in Your Way
8. Determine the Additional Knowledge and Skills You Need
9. Determine the People Whose Help You Will Need
10. Make a Plan: Put It All Together
11. Visualize Your Goal Continually
12. Never Give Up

Never giving up means backing everything you do with persistence and determination.  It means resolving in advance that you will never give up, and making the decision, long before you face any obstacles or difficulties , that you will stick with it until you reach your goal.
According to Tracy, this form of mental preparation can do more to help you than almost any other factor.

Bringing It All Together

Tracy boils down how to put goal setting and goal planning all together:

1. Make a list of at least 10 goals for the next 12 months.  Take out a clean sheet of paper and at the top of the page write the word “Goals” with today’s date.  Make a list of at least 10 goals that you want to accomplish within the next 10 months.  Write the goals in the present tense, such as, “I weigh X number of pounds,” or “I earn X number of dollars this year.”
2. Identify your Major Definite Purpose.  Read through your list of goals and select the one that answers this question: “What one goal on this list, if I accomplished it, would have the greatest possible impact on my life?”  This becomes the goal that you will use for the 12-part goal-setting process above.
3. Apply the 12-step goal-setting process.  Now that you have selected a goal that you really want and believe you can achieve it, write your goal on a separate sheet of paper, and set a deadlines.  Write out a list of reasons you want to achieve this goal.  Identify the obstacles that stand between you and the attainment of this goal.  Identify the knowledge and the skills you will need to achieve the goal.  Identify the people whose cooperation and support you’ll need.  Make a plan to accomplish this goal.  Take action on your plan and do something every day that moves you toward your goal.  Visualize your goal continually as if you had already achieved it, and resolve that you will never give up until you are successful.

In my experience, one of the best ways to actually do the process is to pair up with somebody or to setup a small group of people and go through the exercise together.  You’ll learn from each other, inspire each other, and you’ll enjoy the process more.http://sourcesofinsight.com/brian-tracy-on-12-steps-to-set-and-achieve-any-goal/

Great Personal Development Secrets That Can Help You Succeed in Life   by Dex Dest

Personal Development secrets that Can Help You succeed in life
Making the choice to pursue personal development can be an energizing experience, and it can give you a feeling of being in control of your life. Keeping your energy levels high is the best way to work toward reaching your goals. This article contains useful information and tips to help you get a better understanding of personal development.
One part of depression you may not thought of to look at is your diet and increasing the amount of complex carbohydrates that you consume. If you are not consuming adequate amounts of complex carbohydrates, your serotonin levels may be lower than they should be. Increase your consumption of fresh fruits, raw vegetables, nuts, brown rice, assorted beans and whole grains to have a diet that is enriched in complex carbohydrates.
TIP! You need to be your highest priority since you can't please everybody. This doesn't mean that you should only think of yourself, especially if it hurts others, but you often have to put yourself first or no one else will.
Be on the lookout for new challenges all the time. Finding a new challenge will open up new possibilities. You can learn a lot of new stuff and new skills. It is completely likely that you can set a new standard from accomplishing something before others have. Do something new and unique, instead of copying others.
Humility is key. We are all but tiny dots in the scope of this universe. Life is a learning process and no one person knows everything. Understand this and open yourself up to new opportunities. Keep an open mind and you will always find new things others can teach you.
TIP! Are you having problems meeting someone that is right for you? Explore your options on the Internet. Almost half of all couples, about 40%, met their partner online.
Exercise is not just for people trying to lose weight. There are many different reasons to exercise. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins, improving your mood and keeping you calm.
Find out how successful people improved themselves. Find out what other people have done to become more successful in their careers. Reading about positive experiences others have had, as well as lessons learned, can really enhance your personal development.
TIP! If you are in the process of self development, it can be a blow to fail but keep going. Approach your failures as opportunities to learn.
Accept your limitations before engaging in personal development. If you admit that you are simply a tiny part of this world, you will begin to recognize how much you still have to learn. Once you adopt this mindset, you will be more open-minded and receptive to new knowledge, which will lead to self-improvement.
You need to understand the distance between the place you are now, and the place you want to be in the future. Self realization is the key to beginning this kind of journey. If you can't figure out what the difference is, chances are you won't find success in reaching your goals.
TIP! Instead of focusing on your own achievements, ask others about theirs. People will appreciate your company more, and you will find new common points of interests between you and your friends.
Become aware of the kind of person you actually are instead of your superficial physical appearance. It does not matter if you wear the most expensive designer clothes or look like a super model. The person that you are inside will overshadow what you look like in your life. Build your inner character rather than focusing on outside appearance.
A very important part to personal development would be to know what you want from your life. Having long term goals will make quite the difference in how you perceive the world around you.
TIP! In order to succeed and become a champion, it's imperative to have a great coach. Behind every champion, there is a coach that helps serve as a mentor.
Base your development plan on your values and goals. It wouldn't make sense to develop a trait that was contrary to who you are. Focus on positive aspects to improve. These aspects should mesh with your values. This is the best way to make long-term changes.
Do you find yourself consuming alcohol far too often? Are there other such vices harming your body such as smoking or recreational drug use? Our body is sacred, and we should respect it and treat it as so. One way to improve your life is by getting rid of any bad habits that you have. Look at how you are living your life, and check if you are participating in any negative habits that should be eliminated.
TIP! Try to make the most of your time at work and get more done. The simple trick is to take more breaks when you work.
Research positive habits that have helped others become successful. Don't try to make too many changes at once. Start with two or three fundamentals that can make a difference, and practice those few until they feel natural to you. It is said that any new habit can be achieved in 21 days, so keep at it.
It is almost impossible to have a happy, healthy mind when your body has been neglected entirely. Exercising regularly and eating well helps tremendously. Remember, a healthy mind and a healthy body go hand in hand.
TIP! Always aspire to do your best at everything you do. The passions you have should always make you want to achieve greatness.
Don't use shopping as a comfort technique. Spend your time on more productive and useful pursuits. Clean the house, play an instrument or take up a sport. This will reduce stress, save you money and turn you into a more interesting, well-rounded person.
When developing a plan for personal improvements, include the values that are most important in your life. You should try your hardest to prioritize what you consider important.
TIP! Before you begin working on your personal development, you first need to understand your place in the universe. If you admit that you are simply a tiny part of this world, you will begin to recognize how much you still have to learn.
Avoid making a personal development goal that is unnecessarily complicated, or not well defined. Set goals that are specific and achievable, and include a timeline. Specific goals will get specific results.
Having a good attitude can help you evolve as a person. Having a negative attitude will only hold you back and keep you from success. Your goals will be more attainable, and your life happier, with a positive approach to your everyday world.
TIP! Track your progress better through proper organization. If you break big goals down into little sub-goals, you will gain confidence as you achieve the sub-goals.
It doesn't matter how many of the above methods you utilize. Using just a few of these can assist you on a better path of personal development. You can tackle the hard work ahead armed with these sound tips.http://goarticles.com/article/Great-Personal-Development-Secrets-That-Can-Help-You-Succeed-in-Life/7215590/

Learn Time Management to Achieve Your Goals

Learn Time Management to Achieve Your Goals

In order to accomplish all of your goals in 2015, you may need to put in more effort than you usually do. Putting in more effort may require that you learn time management to achieve your goals. Radio personality and actor Steve Harvey mentioned the following in an interview once:

“You can decide to be two types of people. You can be ordinary, or you can be extraordinary. The only difference between those two words is extra. If you do extra, you can be extraordinary. If you don't want an extraordinary life, just stop doing extra.”

This is especially true if you are working in a current job while planning to make a career change. When changing your career, you have to expend extra effort because you are maintaining your current responsibilities while building a new life.

• Watercooler talk time becomes break time on your phone doing research for your career change, making calls or researching information online.
• Former lunch time with colleagues becomes coaching sessions over the phone with your coach and running errands to find out information and check out resources that will support your goals.

You see, effective time management is the first step toward being extraordinary. You have the same 168 hours per week, but the proficiency in which you use your time will change. You can use time management scheduling to include investing time in your goals. You can use your time to:

• look for organizations and online communities where you can learn more about different industries
• seek ways you can volunteer in these communities for a short time to get a feel for the environment – test the waters
• connect with others that share your interests to learn and find support

Learning time management will take some time to get right but the discomfort and possible frustration will not last. It is a temporary by-product of building something new. Construction is dusty and noisy in the beginning, but the result is a beautifully designed, functional, building that serves a purpose. If you haven't been able to accomplish the goals you set at the beginning of this year, with 2015 around the corner, this is the best time to make a fresh start to learn time management. Don't let anything or anyone stop you from your goals. Remember, your potential for success is unlimited. When you push yourself just a little past your comfort zone, you will be amazed at what you can achieve.

"Success is almost totally dependent upon drive and persistence. The extra energy required to make another effort or try another approach is the secret of winning." -- Denis Waitleyhttp://www.liveyourpotential.blogspot.co.uk/2014/12/learn-time-management-to-achieve-your.html