5 Simple Ways To Stay Motivated

• Motivation

by Laura Morrissey - 

Image Credit | jezeble

Everybody can recognize motivation when somebody truly has it. All the signs are there: passion, work ethic, never truly switching off.  

But how can motivation be developed and retained?

Passion and belief in your work is only the first step. Obstacles can diminish the confidence and motivation of even the most passionate of individuals.

Motivation is a roller coaster ride to say the least. Some factors to improve motivation are external to you.

If you really want to make something work in your business and professional life, it is important that you have a good social network of support, whether his is one special person, a partner or family member, or a group of good friends that can be on hand to offer great advice.

Social support is a significant factor when you want to reach a goal.

Not everybody has the right kind of support network around them to thrive in their ideas. If need be seek additional advice from a life coach or join a group to meet like-minded professionals in order to get mental stimulation of the best kind.

Physical Environment counts too. A bright airy office or room with little distractions can aid focus. Useinnovation and design your ideal workspace, even if it is just an office or even a desk at home.

Once these external factors have been implemented, it is time to look within.

We aren’t talking about intense meditation activities. Just simple ways of thinking that act as motivational kick-starters.

1. Turn negatives into positives

That set back? It’s just an opportunity to do things differently. Any problems that occur, you can use these not only to grow as a person, but also to grow your business idea or take it in a different direction.

If viewed negatively, all your energy will be wasted on negative thoughts. Think optimistically and take it as an opportunity to further your craft or idea so it is even better.

“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.” – Wayne Dyer

2. Be fearless

This means no dwelling on decisions. Jump right in there.

Set a standard decision making process for yourself; if it means you can’t fulfill your talents, it’s a no.

Anything else is an opportunity you should commit to chasing.

3. No more complaining

Let’s be honest. We all love a good rant, vocally or internally. This again is a time waster.

Instead use the fuel from your complaint, to brainstorm a new idea for improvement.

If you are complaining about something you can’t change; drag your thoughts elsewhere, there is always something to improve upon.

Talent management means looking for new opportunities to channel your talent and ideas into.

 

4. Be grateful

A grateful person is usually a happy person. Don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t compare your ideas to someone else’s ideas.

Instead be grateful for your talents, your friends and family, your perseverance and that you have beeninspired to even get this far.

This will create more motivation and additionally make you a pleasant person to be around.

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing–that’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar

5. Be kind to yourself

Positive motivation comes from rewarding yourself. Take an evening off, do what you enjoyed before or spend quality time with your loved ones.

Reward yourself, even for little things. It’s all indicative of just how far you have come.

Motivation comes from within, but there is not a one size fits all model so you need to broaden your horizons or ideas.

It is relative to your surroundings and goals. Obstacles are bound to happen. These are not reflective of you, nor do they define you. See each obstacle as a new opportunity and jump right in.

Use all of these ideas to manage a change in your talents as well as emotional intelligence development.

http://addicted2success.com/motivation/5-simple-ways-to-stay-motivated/

The 4 Psychological Triggers That Catalyze Change

By Matt Jager

“Things do not change; we change.” ~Henry David Thoreau

The world knows no joy like an evangelist with an opening. My eyes lit up as I jumped into my sermon on the incredible power of lifestyle change.

The year previous I had decided it was time to take charge of my health, and I had made some big changes.

I transitioned to a whole food diet, put plants at the center of my plate, started meditating regularly, and began attending yoga classes multiple times a week.

I was absolutely astounded at how the synergy of these three lifestyle changes completely transformed my quality of life.

So when my friends began asking me to what I owed my newfound glow, I couldn’t wait to endow them with the key to lasting health, effortless weight loss, and inner peace.

And so my lecture would begin. “It’s so simple! Just change your diet, start exercising, oh and don’t forget to meditate every day!”

Can you guess how many people I converted? Not a one. My regretful interlocutor would begin to nervously shift their weight, looking for any opportunity to end the conversation.

Finally, the realization made its way through my thick skull that everyone already knew that they should be eating right and exercising.

The last thing they wanted was to listen to someone else preach the values of diet, meditation, and exercise—what they already knew that they should be doing.

So I finally learned that knowledge isn’t enough to trigger a lifestyle change.

Despite knowing full well the value of yoga, meditation, and eating veggies, few people are able to make and sustain such changes, especially with career obligations, social engagements, and the other demands of modern life.

So I was left with a conundrum. What was it that had allowed me to make these changes? What was I missing in helping others to realize the same health benefits and increased quality of life?

I became obsessed with answering these questions, and thus a quest was born. A few months later I packed up my life and moved to Arizona to work for a holistic healing center.

I spent the next four years at the Tree of Life center in Patagonia, Arizona, where individuals are taught yoga, meditation, and a plant-based diet as a healing modality. I supported hundreds of people as they adopted the same lifestyle changes that I underwent, and the results have been powerful.

But what I was most interested in exploring was not the effects of diet, yoga, and meditation, but rather understanding what allows individuals to make and sustain these changes in their lives.

Why were some able to take these holistic health practices back into their busy everyday lives when they left the center? Why were some successful when others continued to struggle?

I devoured every book on the science of behavior change that I could get my hands on, and had the incredible opportunity of applying the principles in a real life setting.

The takeaway? Behavior change itself is a skill, and there are certain psychological triggers that we can employ to kickstart the process. Anyone can learn these triggers and cultivate the ability to make healthy changes that are sustainable and lasting.

Here are the four best ways to catalyze change:

1. Start small and celebrate success.

Healthy habits are the bedrock of lasting and sustainable health. Why? Because once established, they no longer require willpower to maintain.

But what is the best way to create a habit?

Stanford psychologist BJ Fogg has pioneered an extremely effective behavior change method that he calls Tiny Habits.

The premise? Start small and celebrate your successes.

Want to cook more plant-based meals? Start with putting a recipe book out on the counter on Sundays.

Want to start meditating? Start with just three breaths every time you sit down at the computer.

These tiny actions may seem insignificant, but by starting small we remove the biggest barrier to change—simply getting started.

Engineering (and celebrating) early success is key in reinforcing the creation of new habits and also motivates us to make bigger changes in the future.

Tiny habits transform into big habits, which cascade into big life changes.

2. Understand the motivation myth.

The key to changing behavior is motivation, right? We need to be motivated to cook healthy food, to go to the gym, to wake up early and study.

Not exactly.

Motivation naturally waxes and wanes, and psychologists have found that trying to change how motivated you are at any given moment is hard. Really hard.

The better bet is to use times of high motivation strategically.

Everyone has periods of peak productivity, and the best way to leverage these times of high motivation is to do something that helps structure future behavior.

Next time you find yourself having a super productive day, use that motivation to sign up for a weekly yoga class, invite an interested friend over to explore healthy cooking every Sunday, or plan a plant-based potluck.

These are all examples of setting up future events that will help keep you on track. Using your existing motivation to create accountability and social support increases follow through.

3. Get laser focused on one big win.

The archnemesis of healthy change is a pernicious little devil called overwhelm.

Take getting healthy for example: There are thousands of different dietary theories, conflicting health information, and more exercise programs than I can count.

Should you be fasting one day a week? Eating a low-carb or low-fat diet? Doing yoga? Jumpstarting yourself with a cleanse? Doing three hours of cardio weekly? Eating plant-based meals? Weight training?

The options are endless and analysis paralysis can easily set in.

Focusing on one big win is about identifying what is going to give you the greatest result for the least amount of effort.

For weight loss, a great “big win” is to focus on meals that are low in caloric density, i.e. plant-powered dishes which include a wide range of veggies, beans, grains, and greens.

You can eat as much of these nourishing, delicious, hearty foods as you like and make sustainable progress toward your goal weight.

Whatever your goal, find what gives you the biggest bang for your buck and ruthlessly cut back everything else.

Simplicity empowers change.

4. Learn one thing at a time.

In their book Switch: How To Change Things When Change Is Hard, authors Chip and Dan Heath share some surprising truths about change.

For me, the most interesting revelation is as follows: What looks like resistance is actually a lack of clarity.

When taking up healthy habits, there is almost always a learning curve.

We might go the gym, but we don’t really know how to work out.

We want to cook healthier meals, but the recipe is full of exotic ingredients we’ve never heard of before.

And we most often resist making these changes not because we are unmotivated, but because we don’t see a clear path forward. We don’t know the exact steps to take to begin eating better, exercising, or sitting down to meditate.

The best way to reduce the resistance and get started? Break down the task in front of you into baby steps and learn one thing at a time.

If you are interested in cooking healthier meals, first learn how to shop. Add a new-to-you ingredient to your list every time you go to the store.

Once shopping is a breeze, then devote time to learning to cook up a few quick, easy, and delectable healthy recipes.

Breaking down the learning curve into easy, manageable steps is one of the best ways to catalyze change.

The most important takeaway here is the understanding that behavior change is a skill that can be learned and cultivated.

There is no secret source of motivation, willpower, or discipline that some have and others don’t. Apply these psychological triggers and you’ll be well on your way to creating healthy habits that are sustainable and lasting.

- See more at: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-4-psychological-triggers-that-catalyze-change/#sthash.YRpPadXm.dpuf

Shake off Your Jitters (Pt 2 of 2)

Last week I discussed what the No. 1 fear is for most people, public speaking.
In part 2 of our series, I am going to give you my 3 tips for conquering this fear so you can start rocking the stage.

Mark Twain, who made most of his income from speaking, not writing, said,
“There are only two types of speakers in the world. 1. The nervous and 2. Liars.”
Let me help you with that nervousness.

I do a lot of keynote presentations. My first company at 18 years old required me to speak publicly many times a week, and I have done it thousands of times since. Most of the businesses I have built compelled me to champion the cause of the business through large group presentations. I am often asked for tips on preparing, packaging and deliveringpresentations, so let me pass forward a few of the tips that have worked for me when it comes to overcoming jitters:

First off, you have to come to terms with this:

Who Cares? (Certainly not the audience).

Someone once told me that the reason why there is NO reason to be nervous is because people care far less than you think. Think about the last time you were in row 30 of an auditorium, in the corner of a boardroom or in the back of some dreary classroom trying desperately not to daydream or fall asleep. You think they are hanging and judging you on your every word, when in reality their greatest hope is that you are close to ending.

Remember this: They’re not judging you as much as you think, because they don’t care as much as you think. I think knowing this helps enormously (whew, feel better already?)

In the super unlikely event that some disaster does happen, something explodes or you trip and fall, at least you know you will have more attention from the audience than in the 30 seconds before. Now you can use that attention to do something good.

Certainly, whatever you say next will be remembered. If nothing else, your tragedy will give the audience something fun and funny to share. The laughter from that story will do more good for the world than most anything your presentation might have done anyway.

Meaning again, look, it’s not a big deal really. The only one making it so is you.
It’s all self-imposed fear conjuring.
Repeat that mantra in your head: no one really cares.

Number two:
Who Do You Think You Are, Anyway?

Here’s another tip someone shared with me about being nervous before speaking:
If you are nervous that means you are being an egotist—making yourself way too important. Instead, you should be making this about the audience. Stop thinking about yourself, your performance and how you will look, and think only about your audience.

Think about them, their problems, fears, hopes, dreams and ambitions.
You are there only to serve them.
The spotlight should be on them, not you.

When you take the spotlight off yourself and make what you are there for about them, not only does your nervousness go away, but you also empathize and connect with your audience better.

Finally number three, and I learned this from John Maxwell when I asked him how he prepares for his keynote presentations. Maxwell says an hour before his presentation, he stops looking at and studying his material and only thinks about his audience.

He envisions them sitting in the audience. He tries to see the stage from their vantage point, what they must be thinking, feeling, hoping for, wanting and not wanting. In other words, he tries to get into their head and heart instead of staying stuck in his head. Ultimately connecting with the audience happens only when you enter the conversation they are already having in their head and once you connect with the desires they already have in their heart.

http://darrenhardy.success.com/2015/04/shake-off-jitters-2/#article

12 Daily Habits: The Art of Creating a Brand-New You

12 Mar 2015

Vishnu

by

A few years ago, I wasn’t the person I wanted to be…

I was prioritizing the wrong things, focused on accomplishments and not growing as a person. I began my own path of personal development that would help me become the person I was capable of being.

And what have I received in the last couple of years?

More fulfilling work and closer relationships, but more than anything else, a better relationship with myself. I’m becoming internally the person I want to be so that I can create positive change in my life and achieve my dreams.

This has taken quite a bit of work.

I’ve taken on daily personal development habits that have helped me become an entirely new person.  These daily habits have been game-changers for me.

Not only have I experienced profound inner growth and peace, I’ve started seeing dramatic improvements in all areas of my life.

These habits will do the same for you.

Here are 12 daily habits that will help you become the person you want to be.

1. The Art of Silence

For much of our days, we focus on the external. When we’re not speaking to someone or working on something, we are stuck perpetually on our smart (dumb) phones, checking in with other people, browsing Facebook and loving our neighbor’s Instagram updates.

To focus on yourself, you have to put all this aside for at least a few minutes a day.

To create daily quiet time, commit to practicing silence for a few minutes. If you can’t keep quiet and refrain from doing anything for a few minutes, try other practices, like meditation or prayer.

You can also take a walk – even better, a walk in nature to help you disengage from the outside world. Whatever you do, don’t take your cell phone with you. You’ll live without your iPhone!

2. The Art of Exercise

Exercise can be a life-changing personal development habit.

I remember Scott Dinsmore writing about the powerful habit of being fit a couple of years back. He mentioned that staying fit was the habit of Richard Branson and so many other top performers in the world, from the President of the United States (Barack Obama) to the world’s top bloggers (Chris Guillebau and Leo Babauta). 

If exercise was having such an impact on all of them, there must be something to it. As Scott pointed out, “The people who do well have pointed out that the more they respect their body, the more it will do for them.”

The secret to daily exercise is to pick something you enjoy doing, something that you will create time for and that you can start in small increments.

It doesn’t have to be something like training for a marathon or becoming a yoga instructor. Do whatever you can, even if only for a few minutes a day. Walk, swim, jump rope, go for a jog – anything that brings physical movement to your life.

3. The Art Of Seeing The Future

Alright, you don’t have to become a psychic.

You can practice living in the future by assuming that what you want is already here.

Yes, visualization.

When you set goals or have dreams, you must intend to achieve them and actively work on them. However, it’s also helpful if you can see your future in your mind.

Not just see it, but feel as though it has already happened. If your goal is to be a world-famous chef, start picturing yourself as a world-famous chef. Visit fancy kitchens, hob-knob with local chefs and spend hours in the kitchen honing your skills. Imagine yourself on television, stir-frying in world-famous hotels and giving autographs during your cook-book signings.

It’s not at all extreme to sit down in a bookstore and sign some books to give to your fans. (Of course, first purchase the books and try to be discreet so security doesn’t kick you out.)

See it in your mind. Feel it. Act it out. Make your dream a present reality.

4. The Art Of Affirmations

Underneath your mind is your subconscious mind, which you can’t see, touch or talk to.

It stays there, silently making its own decisions, developing its own beliefs and living its own life in a tropical paradise known as the inner self.

Your subconscious friend has a mind of her own. While you may think you’re in charge, you’re really not. She’s in charge.

And how do you influence this inner subconscious person who resides within?

Affirmations.

No matter what anyone says and how silly it may seem, affirmations work.

When you repeat these inner self-help mantras, you are conditioning your subconscious mind. While your subconscious wants you to believe you’re a hopeless person without confidence and that you deserve a life of poverty, you can counter those inner thoughts with affirmations.

Here is an example of 35 affirmations you can use on the daily. One habit I’ve found effective is to write a couple of affirmations in places where you spend a good portion of your day. Doing this, you’ll receive continual reminders to repeat these affirmations.

5. The Art Of Blessings (Counting Them)

When you think about how good things are in your life, you can’t help but feel more positive, more inspired and more motivated.

But what if you think nothing is going well and you’re in complete despair?

Here’s the trick and it’s one you must try out in your life – counting your blessings.

I try to write 10 things I’m grateful for each day. Sometimes this list goes on toward the upward count of 30 to 40 things that I’m grateful for.

Incorporate a gratitude practice and see how your life changes. It just takes a couple minutes a day to consciously note everything that is going well for you and all the people who are being good to you.

And here’s another secret – the more you appreciate the good things that come your way, the more good things will come your way.

6. The Art Of Giving

Last year, on a daily basis, I tried to do something for someone that would improve his or her life.

It can be the smallest thing in the world that has the biggest impact – a compliment, a smile, leaving the door open or almost any little thing that brightens someone’s day.

If you’re in the service profession, take it one step further by going out of your way to help your customers a bit more. Take a little more interest in them. Show a little more compassion toward their problems or concerns.

By practicing the art of giving every day, you develop the habit of caring about others.

Other ways to give include volunteerism, service days, donations of money or time and more. Become a giving machine.

7. The Art Of Insight

You don’t need a therapist couch to learn more about yourself and gain additional insight into your life.

Sure, you can work with a life coach or talk with a friend to help you get mental and emotional clarity.

Or you can do it on your own. How?

Write.

And no, you don’t have to write for the masses in a blog.

Instead of publicly blogging, you can journal your thoughts, problems and life dilemmas. Ask yourself the questions you’re confused about and watch the answers magically appear in your writing.

You have the answers to your life.

8. The Art Of Growing Your Mind

Engage in a practice every day that grows your mind and your knowledge base.

Get inspired by reading, listening to audio-books, watching Ted talks or taking in other inspirational content.

By listening and watching motivational content, you can’t help but improve.

Don’t become a serial inspiration junkie, though. Don’t just soak in content and live your life the way you were living it previously.

What is the one thing you can take away from the book you read or the video you watched? Write it down and apply it to your life.

9. The Art Of Presence

It’s hard in today’s world to focus on the task at hand, but turn every situation into a game in which you’re focused only on the task in front of you.

It’s especially distracting to work online while checking Facebook and Instagram every two minutes.

One way I’ve found to stay focused is to have a piece of paper next to me. Every time I feel like I want to stop focusing on the task at hand, I write down a hash mark. I keep track of the number I’m creating. Being aware of how often I get distracted helps me stay focused on what’s in front of me.

Commit to focusing on one task at a time and especially on the task in front of you. You can’t do more when you multitask. You do more when you’re fully present with what you’re working on right now. 

10. The Art Of Priorities

You can do this every day or the night before for less than five minutes a day.

Just five minutes of planning can drastically alter your life and your day.

In the earlier part of the day, determine what your day will look like. Do a little planning.

Note all your “must-do” activities and your “should-do” tasks. Determine which are important and which can wait.

Plan and prioritize your day for a few minutes every day and watch your life and career transform.

11. The Art Of Dining

Whoever said there was an art to dining?

You just stuff down as much junk food as you can or food that makes you feel good without a second thought.

Hogwash.

The way to design the most productive and effective you is to be mindful of your food.

You can change your health, emotional well-being and mental well-being by changing your diet.

And the most efficient diet for your well-being is a plant-based diet that includes fruits and vegetables.
Also, reduce sweets, snacks and sugar. Cut down on fat, GMO food and processed food.

Consider eating less fried food and cutting down on high-calorie desserts. Less sugar-filled, high-calorie drinks and more water.

Take care of your body and it will take care of you.

12. The Art Of Down Time

Instead of planning every single minute of the day, schedule time off.

You don’t have to be busy and occupied every hour.

You need time to refocus, get re-energized, rest and relax. You need time for affirmations, visualization, relaxation and exercise.

Use your down time to complete the activities mentioned in this post.

Don’t wait until you have time to relax before you take time off. Downtime won’t just appear; you have to schedule it.

Develop healthy living and eating habits that put you in a state in which you’re ready to create a new life for yourself.

It’s the small consistent steps to improve your health and well-being that will help you achieve success.

Your greatest life begins with the small actions you take today.

http://www.finerminds.com/personal-growth/12-daily-habits-the-art-of-creating-a-brand-new-you/

Shake off Your Jitters (Pt 1 of 2)

A while back I was giving a two-hour training to a group of a few hundred sales professionals.

In the front row were a couple of women who kept smiling, giggling, elbowing each other and pointing at me.

I thought, “Man, I’m killing them up here. I must be in The Zone!”

I was so encouraged that I got even more passionate and animated in my presentation. Near the very end of my talk, I looked down and realized that my fly had been gaping open the entire time.

Near the very end of my talk, I looked down and realized that my fly had been gaping open the entire time.

What was worse is the entire audience noticed that I JUST noticed.

I quickly put on a face of comic surprise and everyone roared.

Then, as the laughter died down, I leaned against the podium, nodded knowingly, and said:

“Remember this, of all the sales strategies, tips and tactics we talked about today, none of them mean a thing unless you remember to close.”

And with that I zipped up my fly.

I got a standing ovation and for years after that presentation, people discussed whether or not I’d planned the whole incident.

When speaking in front of crowds or giving a presentation, sometimes your greatest fears can be your greatest moments of engagement, humility and memorability. Embrace it all.

Look, success in today’s world comes down to your ability to sell your ideas, expand your influence and enroll others into a worthy mission or cause.

That means you need to learn to present.

Today I will be giving you a few key ideas to help you conquer the hearts and minds of those you seek to influence through presentation.

By the way, EVERYBODY is a public presenter.

Maybe you’re presenting your ideas at an office meeting, interviewing for a new job, pitching your argument for why a new piece of office equipment is needed or trying to convince your friends which movie should win the Oscar. Whatever the situation, being able to speak effectively in public is essential to success.

Whatever the situation, being able to speak effectively in public is essential to success.

A recent survey conducted by Distinction discovered that, of the executives and entrepreneurs surveyed, more than 86 percent said being able to present effectively has a significant impact on their income and success.

But you are afraid to speak in front of a group.

It’s true, many see this as a Death-Defying act.
According to most studies, people’s No. 1 fear is public speaking.
No. 2 is death.

Doesn’t that sound insane?
People would rather die than speak in public.

That means if you go to a funeral, more people would rather be the one in the casket than have to give the eulogy!

First off, let’s put this into proper perspective:
No one has ever died giving a bad presentation.
Well, except for President William Henry Harrison.
Harrison developed pneumonia after giving the longest inaugural address in U. S. history. Which I guess is our first lesson on giving a presentation—keep it short or you might die… or at least kill the attention span of your audience.

So why do we think connect speaking in public to an act of suicide?

We come by this fear through our crazy ancestral brain wiring.
You have to remember that we have been walking erect for more than 4 million years.
Even if you call “modern man” 6,000 years old, we have some long-living, deep-seated survival brain wiring that is really over-inflated for our modern times.

We have learned that predators hunt in packs and their easiest prey are those who stand alone, without a weapon, on a flat area of land where there is no cover.

What does that sound like?
Yeah, standing on a stage, alone, in front of an audience, with all their eyes fixed on you.

Our ancestors, the ones who survived, that is, developed a fear response mechanism to these situations. However, these days we are rarely chased by lions or attacked by packs of hyenas, making our fear response programming out of sync with much of modern life.

You have to ask yourself, “Hey, what’s the worst that can happen?”
Certainly death is rarely a consequence, so anything short of that leaves nothing to be afraid of, really.

So my job as your mentor is to help you shake off the jitters when it comes to speaking in public.
You might find it helpful to know that some of the most successful and famous public speakers have the same ancient brain wiring issues we all have:

-Elvis Presley said, “I’ve never gotten over what they call stage fright. I go through it every show.”
-Bono, of U2, claims to get nervous the morning of every one of the thousands of shows he’s performed.
-Thomas Jefferson was so afraid of public speaking that he had someone else read the State of the Union Address. George Washington didn’t like speaking either.
-Winston Churchill, John F. Kennedy, Margaret Thatcher, Barbara Walters, Johnny Carson, and Barbra Streisand have all reported fears of public communication.
-I just read an interview with legendary crooner Tony Bennett in Esquire where he said, “Every great performer I have ever met has been frightened to go on.”
-Even Aristotle, Isaac Newton, Charles Darwin, Winston Churchill, Jack Welch, James Earl Jones and the former King of England, all had stutters and were nervous speakers at one time in their lives.

So hey, if you are a bit nervous, you are in good company, and there is a great chance you can still be stellar at it.

http://darrenhardy.success.com/2015/04/shake-off-jitters-1/#article

Rohn: 8 Traits of Healthy Relationships

Which of these will you work on today?

Nothing can bring more joy to life than beautifully fulfilling relationships. The depth of meaning, understanding and appreciation that these kinds of relationships bring is almost unfathomable. And, of course, as many people find out, nothing can bring so much pain as a broken relationship with someone dear to you.

Yes, relationships make the world go ’round. For better or for worse. But the exciting thing is that we can do much to increase our chances of having terrific relationships—relationships that are fulfilling and exciting, rich with meaning, joy and love. There are basics that govern most human relationships and these basics are what I want to cover below. So here is my list of the eight essentials that I believe make up the basics of healthy relationships.

1. Love. Now, this all depends on your definition of love. Most people think that love is a feeling, but I would strongly debate that point. Actually, the concept of “like” is really about feelings. When you say you like someone, you are talking about how you feel. But when you say that you love someone, you are not necessarily talking about how you feel about them. Love is much deeper than a feeling. Love is a commitment we make to people to always treat that person right and honorably. Yes, for those we become especially close to, we will have feelings of love, but I believe it is time for us to re-examine what we mean by love. We must expand our definition of what love means by including the commitment aspect of love. For healthy relationships, we must love everyone. We may not like them based on how we feel about them, but we should love them based on our definition of love above which in turn determines how we should act toward them; that is, treat them right and honorably. This is the basis of all healthy relationships.

2. Serving Heart. My good friend Zig Ziglar says frequently that “you can have everything you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want out of life.” The concept he is talking about is having a heart and life that is focused on serving other people. The Bible puts it this way: consider others’ interests as more important than your own. This is also fundamental to healthy relationships.

3. Honest Communication. In any good relationship you will find open and honest communication. Communication is so important because it is the vehicle that allows us to verbalize what is inside us and enables it to connect with another person. Isn’t communication amazing? One person is feeling one thing, and through communication, another person can find that out and feel it too—amazing. And this is a vital goal in good relationships—to communicate, to tell each other what we are thinking and what we are feeling. It enables us to make a connection. Sometimes we are the one speaking and other times we are listening. Either way, the central tenet is communication for the sake of building the relationship and making it stronger. And here’s what’s exciting: If we just communicate, we can get by. But if we communicate skillfully, we can work miracles!

4. Friendliness. Put simply, relationships just work better when we are friendly with others. Being friendly can cushion the bumpy ride we sometimes experience in our relationships. Cheerfulness goes a long way toward building lasting relationships. I mean, nobody wants to be around a grump, do they? The fact is that the friendlier you are the more you are going to have people who want to pursue longer-lasting, mutually beneficial relationships with you. So cheer up, put on a smile, have kind words to say to others, treat people with a great deal of friendliness and you will see your relationships improve.

5. Patience. People being people, we have an awful lot of time for practice in the area of patience. People are not perfect and will constantly fail us. And conversely we will fail other people. So while we try to have more patience for others, we need their patience as well. So often, I think relationships break down because people give up and lose patience. I am talking about all kinds of friendships, marriages, business relationships, etc. Recent research has shown that those marriages that go through major turmoil, and then make it through, are very strong after doing so. Patience wins out. Those who give up on relationships too early, or because the other person isn’t perfect, often forget that their next friend, their next spouse or business partner will not be perfect either! So we would do well to cultivate this skill and learn to have more patience.

6. Loyalty. Loyalty is a commitment to another person. Sadly, loyalty is often a missing element in many relationships today. We have forgotten what it means to be loyal. Our consumer mentality has affected this to some degree. People are no longer loyal to a product. And unfortunately, many companies are not loyal to their clients or patrons. Regrettably, this has spilled over into our relationships. It is one thing to switch brands of dishwashing detergent. It is another thing altogether to switch friends. Sometimes we just need to commit to being loyal and let the relationship move forward. We need a higher level of stick-to-it-iveness! This kind of loyalty will take our relationships to a much deeper level. What a powerful and secure feeling of knowing that you have a relationship with someone who is loyal to you and you to them—that neither of you is going anywhere even when things get tough. Wow, how powerful!

7. A Common Purpose. One of the basics of healthy relationships is to have a common purpose, and oftentimes this is a component that is initially overlooked, but for a long-term, long-lasting relationship it is vital. Think about how many friends you have met through the years while working on a common purpose. Maybe it was someone you met while participating in sports, while working on a political campaign, attending church, at your office, or anything that brought you together to work on a common purpose. You had that strong common bond of purpose that brought you together and held you together. Working together, building together, failing and succeeding together—all while pursuing a common purpose—is what relationships are made of. Find people with whom you have common purposes and sow the seeds of great relationships, and then reap the long-lasting benefits.

8. Fun. All good relationships have some element of fun. Now, that doesn’t necessarily mean loud, raucous fun, though that is appropriate for some relationships. But even in business relationships there should be some fun. It should be fun to do business with those who you are going to have a long-term business relationship with. Fun brings enjoyment to the relationship and that is important. I think that oftentimes this key element can be easily forgotten or neglected in our family and spousal relationships. The fun things we did initially in a new relationship after a while can be taken for granted or simply fall by the wayside and we stop creating the fun and joy. So remember to consciously craft fun situations and moments, for these are the glue that hold our memories together and make our lives sweet.

There are so many key ingredients to making and maintaining great, long-lasting relationships. Each of the eight components we discussed brings unique dynamics and rewards to your relationships. Let’s begin to focus on improving our relationships in these areas and see what miracles occur!

 http://success.com/article/8-traits-of-healthy-relationships