10 Things You Need To Know To Have A No Limits Mindset

• by Chris Schenk - 

Image Credit | Frances Comugnai

When I start talking to people usually one of the first things they ask me is “So in your profile you mention that you are No-Limit’s Thinker and Mentor” what does that mean?

So since I am asked that question often I thought I would take a minute to write out exactly what my“No-Limits Mindset” is and how I apply it to my life and to the lives of the people I’m trying to help through my coaching and mentoring program.

The foundation of the No-Limit’s Mindset are really pretty simple, but trying to apply them to your life on a daily basis can be very challenging.

The world we live in today isn’t really open to this mindset and it takes a special kind of person who is willing to look inside of themselves and take responsibility for themselves and their choices to live this life.

That person also has to be willing to step outside of the predefined box and be willing to start thinking and looking at things in different ways than most people in our society look at things today.

Are you this special kind of person?

Do you wish to be a lone Lion who stands out amongst the sheep of this world?

If your answer to these two questions is “Yes” then please read on. If your answer is “No” that is fine, but I would recommend you stop reading this article right now, because what I’m about to say will not only frustrate you, but it’s going to make you mad.

Below I have listed 10 things you need to know to have a no limits mindset

1. “Rules” are for the people who made them

In life there are three types of people when it comes to rules.

Rule Makers – These people make and set the rules for everyone else to follow.

Rule Breakers – These are people who live to break every rule that has ever been made.

Rule Changers – These are the people who understand the rules, but know there has to be a better way to do things and they strive hard to find a better way of doing things to change the rules.

Which type of “Rule” person are You?

2. The only thing holding you back from anything is “You”

There are those people in this world who will always lay blame for every wrong in their life at the feet of something or someone else, but let’s face it “You” are the problem.

I’m not here to sugar coat things or to try and make you feel good about yourself. If you want something in life Go Get It!!

Don’t wait for someone or something to hand it to you, because you know what… That’s never going to happen.

If you want to know what it takes to be successful, be a billionaire, be famous, have a loving family, go on an exotic vacation, own your own business, or live a life filled with happiness all you ever have to do is look in the mirror and there is the person who can and will make that happen for you.

So quit telling yourself that you “can’t” do this or that, and instead of saying “can’t” tell yourself “Who’s Going To Stop Me”? Nobody is going to make your dreams become a reality, because it’s your dream.

So if you want it, quit making excuse and “Go Get It”.

“Only you can hold yourself back. Only you can stand in your own way. Only you can help yourself.” – Mikhail Strabo

3. When you get knocked down (as we all do) get right back up and say is that all you’ve got

Life is going to knock you down. Life isn’t going to be easy for you. You are going to have trial and tribulations in your life. So don’t complain about it, get used to that thought right now and accept it.

You can either let that pull you down and kill you on the inside and be a victim, or you can let that motivate you, make you stronger, and give you the intestinal fortitude you need to survive and win against all odds.

The choice is always yours to make. “You” have the right to make this choice everyday for yourself. No one else can choose this for you, this is all “You”.

So what are you going to choose today?

4. Don’t let other’s define “You”

If you constantly live your life for your Dad, Mom, Sisters, Brothers, Wife, Husband, Kids, Grandparents, Friends, etc… “YOU” will never be happy in this life. Period.

I don’t care what any of them tell you or say about you. If “you” don’t define who you are and what you stand for in this life you will never live your life.

This is your life, grab it by the horns and own your life. Stand for something or die for nothing it’s“your”choice, but don’t you ever forget that which ever way you decide to go it was “your” choice. You are responsible for “you”.

Is this going to be hard? YES!!

Are people going to try and hold you down and want to keep you at their level? YES!!

Stand up, think for yourself, let your voice be heard, make a difference in your life and the lives of others around you, change the world if that is what you want to do, but don’t you ever let anyone but“you” define who you are.

5. Don’t expect anything from anyone but yourself

When it comes to getting what you want in life you are the only one you can truly count on in life.

When it comes to what can make you happy in life, only you can ever make yourself truly happy.

If you think other people or other things are going to bring you happiness or the things you want in life, you are just plain wrong. Know this to be true, and you will already be further ahead in this life than most of the people you talk to everyday.

Remember always “The only person or thing you are trying to be better than in this life is the person you were yesterday”.

6. Never quit on yourself

Basic human fact… People will quit on you. We are only human and there is only so much any person can take.

That being said and with this new knowledge why would you ever quit on yourself? Your right there is no reason to ever quit on yourself. None!!

I don’t care how bad it gets, I don’t care how alone you feel, I don’t care if everyone tells you that they don’t like you and wish you would die, Don’t You Ever Quit On Yourself!! At those times (and they will happen) you look yourself in the mirror and repeat this as you stare at yourself in your own eyes.

“I will not quit on you ever!! I will not quit today or any other day!! This will not stop me!! I am here for a reason and I still have work to do!! I will not quit on you ever!!”

Say it until you have tears in your eyes. Say it until you’re angry. Say it until its a mantra and you can hear it in your mind without having to say it out loud. Say it until you believe it, and know what you are saying is true. Not only to your mind, but also to your heart, and soul.

“Never give up. Today is hard, tomorrow will be worse, but the day after tomorrow will be sunshine.” – Jack Ma

7. Keep things simple

Why do we always have to make things so complicated? Who knows the answer to that question? I’ve often pondered that very question in my life and to be completely honest with you I don’t have the answer.

What I do know though is that any time you can break something down into smaller simpler pieces in your life do yourself a favor and do it. You would be surprised at how much stress and pressure in your life would just go away if you strive to make things simpler in your life.

8. When in doubt, take action

Some action is always better than no action at all. Most of us get stuck in life because we get wrapped up in this or that and once we get wrapped up in something we tend to forget to make any movement or any progress.

If you’re scared of something take action to overcome that fear.

Don’t get stuck in life just because you are scared or refuse to take action. If you feel you should take action or think you should take action then do it.

9. Planning and taking action will help you destroy your fears

We all have fears and anyone who tells you they don’t is just plain lying to you, but how do you overcome your fears, thats the million dollar question.

One way I’ve found to overcome my fears is to plan before hand what actions I will take when I’m afraid of something so that when that fear arises I don’t have to sit and think or ponder about what I’m going to do I already know exactly what I’m going to do. This often allows me to overcome my fear with out beingparalyzed by the fear itself.

Believe in yourself, make a plan, then take action when it’s time. It’s worked for me and I know it can work for you as well.

10. Who has more “Heart” than you… No One

This is just plain and simple. No matter what anyone tells you or what happens to you in your life remember this always.

 Heart is what gets you out of bed in the morning when everyone else is still sleeping. Heart is what makes you get back up when you’ve been knocked down by life. Heart is what makes you look the doubters in the face and say “I Can, And I Will”. Heart is what separates the lions from the sheep in this life.

It’s “Your” choice to choose.

Starting today will you be a lion or a sheep?

http://addicted2success.com/motivation/10-things-you-need-to-know-to-have-a-no-limits-mindset/

3 Ways To Stay Healthy When You’re Really Busy

08 Jun 2015

Simas Skuzinskas

by

Have you been on the extreme busy run schedule lately?

Get up, get kids to the school, go to work, come back, take kids from the school, and by the end of the day feel SO tired that you just want to lie down and do nothing?

Perhaps you are missing one specific piece on your daily basis that keeps you away from the energy and enthusiasm driven life.

1. Cultivate A Morning Ritual

We, as people, expect a lot from ourselves every day. And how we begin the day will result in how we end the day.

Amazingly, many of us “forget” that we take care of the outside world so much leaving ourselves behind the picture.

When the gas tank is empty, we know we need gas to fill it up. Otherwise, we cannot move further.

But when our bodies feel exhausted and sick, we go for a quick fix (food full of sugar to get a fast energy boost), and in afternoon we feel sleepy, moody, out of balance.

How come we never pour diesel into the car that is run on gas when the tank is empty? Yet, we eat the food that has ZERO or MINIMAL nutritional value to our bodies?

2. Take Care Of Your Body

To feel great from the start of the morning, follow a simple effective formula that nourishes your body, mind and soul.

Implement a morning ritual that consists of:

• Water upon waking up.
• An exercise of 2 minutes to awaken your body and mind (can be squats, push ups, burpees, or Ab routine)
• Meditation of 15-20 minutes to CLEAR the mind (I personally find Rebirthing the MOST effective, as Tony Robbins finds this as well). Meditation not only calms your mind and soul, but also provides the energy to kick off the day!
• Moment for gratitude and appreciation for your current life
• Read a book or listen to an Audio for personal growth to build some new brain cells, open up your mind for new thoughts and opportunities.
• HAVE a breakfast. Many people skip it, or just grab a coffee and a bagel/muffin and go. By noon, their energy levels drop significantly. Implement a new habit of starting the day with a Green Shake.

3. Get Fit – And Stay Fit

A 15-20 minute workout of HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) in the morning or at night 3-4 times per week WILL get you fit and help you STAY fit.

Now, what you do every morning is you prepare your body physically, your mind mentally, to go through the day with full capacity to perform at your best.

More energy at your work, with kids and wife, workouts, better sleep – more productive life.

You need to spend the time nourishing yourself, inside and out.

The best part of it is that YOU are responsible for this, and how you have been spending mornings is a direct reflection of how you LOVE yourself.

Treat yourself best! The better and well you are, the more you can give to others. And…

You do not need to do this all right away.

Start off with just ONE thing (exchange coffee with green shake, then after a week or two start doing one exercise after you wake up, later meditation and etc.), and gradually create new patterns in your daily habits. At the beginning, won’t be easy, but will be WORTH it!

You MUST plant the seed in order to reap.

Not a single seed has grown without sowing and harvesting it!

http://www.finerminds.com/health-fitness/3-ways-to-stay-healthy-when-youre-really-busy/

9 Ways to Reach Your Goals Lightning Fast

Posted on May 25, 2015 by Tom Casano |

Fully Commit

Decide that you’re going to keep working at it until your reach your goal. The word “de-cide” literally means “to cut away from”. Think of the other strong commitments you’ve made in your life. There’s no turning back, you stick to it consistently and keep moving forward, no matter what. Make this same kind of commitment to your goal.

Challenge Your Excuses

Don’t let your excuses rule you. Listen to them and write them down. Make a list of all of the excuses and reasons why you can’t be working on it today. You’re not “in the mood”, something came up, etc. If there are real circumstances and responsibilities that are preventing you from working on it, then that’s okay. But if it’s just because you have to check Facebook for 30 minutes, you’ll want to write that one down, and see if that’s a good enough reason to not be working towards your goal.

Choose the Right Goal

Make sure that your goal strikes a balance between being challenging and realistic. If you give yourself too big of a goal, to the point where it becomes overwhelming, you won’t even want to attempt it. Make sure that you goal is do-able. If you break that goal down into smaller steps to be completed every day, however, you won’t feel so intimidated.

Take Action Every Single Day

Rome wasn’t built in a day. And your biggest goals won’t happen overnight. They will take time to accomplish. When you make the commitment, you’re committing to doing something (to get one step closer) every, single, day! Okay, you can take off Saturday and Sunday, but the rest of the week, do something every single day to get closer.

Write Down Your Goals, Clearly

How clear are you on what you want? The more clearly that you can write it down, the easier it will be for you to achieve it. So take just a few minutes now and start writing down clearly, exactly what your goals are. You can’t achieve them if you don’t have a clear idea of exactly what they are. So, what exactly are your goals?

Write Down Your First/Next Steps

What are the next small steps that you need to take? Break your overall goal into smaller steps, and then break down those small steps into even smaller steps. Now look at the first small steps that you need to take. And start taking them, today, right now. Ask yourself, “What can I do today to get one step closer, however small, to achieving my goals?”

Start Today, Right Now

What are you waiting for? If you need permission to get started, then I’m giving you that permission right now! If you’re feeling afraid, it’s okay to feel afraid and still move forward despite your fear (you won’t die, trust me!). If you’re feeling uncertain about moving forward, then you probably need to make your commitment first, and start to accept the uncertainty.

Celebrate Your Successes

No matter how small your wins are, if you celebrate them, you will reward yourself and give yourself a psychological motivator to create more wins. If after your wins, you beat yourself up and say, “That wasn’t good enough” and “I have to do better”, you won’t be giving yourself the satisfaction of feeling good about what you’ve already accomplished. Celebrating your successes will empower you to create more of those same successes going forward.

Get Help From An Expert

Have you ever spoken to a goal achievement expert, also known as a life coach? A coach is a professional who will help you achieve whatever you want in your life, allowing you to sail right through your mental and emotional blocks. Imagine how good it will feel to start moving forward, with your own personal guide and mentor. Get started now.

Read more at http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/9-ways-reach-goals-lightning-fast/#hd2rIpVKpIW8wZUE.99

10 Motivation Tips that Yield Big Results

It can be really hard to stay focused sometimes and stay motivated. It sucks when you want to finish something, but you can’t seem to find the motivation to get it done.

I guess, you can say that is why I created this post: it is going to share with you 10 ways you can stay motivated and push through the hard times.

1. Give Yourself a Reward
Hard work is excellent, but you will run out of energy. That is why I find it crucial to give yourself rewards in order to be successful.

All work and no play makes for a dull day. (ha, that rhymed) Go and give yourself a day off and relax, or maybe go get dinner at that amazing restaurant you have been wanting to go to.

Or just give yourself a day at the spa.  Either way, pick something you can reward yourself with, and then do it.

2. Spend Time with Friends and Family
If you are constantly working and you feel demotivated to do anything, it might be because you haven’t seen your family or friends in awhile.

I know for me and many others that just being around friends and having a good time, can really give you a much needed break and help you have a little fun on top of all of that work.

3. Try Something New
Ever felt like you are doing the same thing, just on a different day? I have. It sucks, because life is about being spontaneous and trying new things out.

Sometimes often more than not we get caught up in the routine of life. That is why I find it vital to try something new in order to revive your motivation.

It could be going on a new hiking trail, going scuba diving, maybe taking a cooking class that you have been wanting to take: moral of the story? Try something new!

4. Get Excited
How cliche. But I think most people don’t realize that maybe you have to try and be excited about a goal in order to get out of your slump. Sometimes it takes a little inspiration to get excited (which you can read at #5) but it’s not impossible and you would be surprised at how much motivation you will have if you are excited about your goals.

I find that when I talk to others about my goals and read more success stories that I tend to be more excited about the goal.

Think about it, if more people know about what you are doing, and you accomplish that goal, then you have more people to share your success with.

5. Find Inspiration
For me, inspiration comes in many forms. For instance, I get inspired by reading other people’s success stories, but I also find inspiration when I read a new book.

Success stories show you that it isn’t impossible to be a success, and books can open the door to imagination and allow you to be creative.

Here are a few things that might just inspire you…

1. A family member (my grandma always inspired me to be a better person and to strive for excellence)
2. Charity or volunteering (I recently went to a food harvesting charity where my group and I were able to package up 10,000 pounds of food to send out to family who are in need, this inspired me to give back to my community and to others who are in need)
3. Teachers (I feel bad for some of my teachers who helped me, but they inspired me to get more out of life)
4. Superman or other super heroes (I know it may sound silly, but sometimes when you look towards others who can do anything it might just inspire you to get off your rump and get things done)

6. Stick with It
I know how it feels to be tired and drained and not want to do something. But I find that my motivation peaks when I push through the hard times because I have proven to myself that I can do it.

Commit to yourself that you will work on accomplishing your goal(s) every day. Speaking of commitment…

7. Commit Publicly
You will have a much more harder time dropping a goal if you commit to it publicly. Now, this doesn’t mean that you have to have a giant speaking event to commit to your goal, but it could be as easy as putting it on Facebook, or sharing it with family and friends.

Trust me, none of us like to look bad in front of others. This method will keep you accountable and will hopefully motivate you to stick with your goal because you don’t want to fail in front of others.

8. Don’t be Afraid to Ask for Help
Everybody’s motivation will drop, but it’s not a matter of when, rather it’s a matter of allowing yourself to ask for help so that you can refuel your motivation.

It can be as easy as emailing someone who will listen and inspire you (you can even email me if you want!), or joining an online forum, or posting to Facebook asking for guidance.

Don’t be afraid to ask for advice, just do it.

9. Replace Negative Thoughts with Positive Thoughts
Negativity doesn’t help anyone. However optimism can help. It is important to take note of your daily thoughts and how you think of yourself and your ability to accomplish a goal.

If you are consistently saying that you are dumb or that you aren’t smart enough, then you are only fooling yourself and holding yourself back.

Instead of saying “I’m dumb,” just say “if this dumbie Kevin can do it, then I can too!” It may seem silly at first, but it will work.

10. Write a Thank You Note to Someone
I love writing thank you notes to others because it makes me feel happier, and typically if you are feeling happier then you will have more energy to be motivated.

Listen, sending a thank you note doesn’t have to be a huge letter or long drawn out story. It could be something like this…

“Dear (insert name),

I wanted to say thank you for helping me with (whatever it is they helped you with), it inspired me or helped me become a better person (writer, singer, etc.) and I appreciate you for that.

You are amazing and thank you so, very much.

Sincerely,

(Your name)”

and boom! You now have a thank you note that you can send out to someone who has helped you out.

Trust me, it can do wonders for boosting your motivation.

http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/10-motivation-tips-yield-big-results/

The 4 Psychological Triggers That Catalyze Change

By Matt Jager

“Things do not change; we change.” ~Henry David Thoreau

The world knows no joy like an evangelist with an opening. My eyes lit up as I jumped into my sermon on the incredible power of lifestyle change.

The year previous I had decided it was time to take charge of my health, and I had made some big changes.

I transitioned to a whole food diet, put plants at the center of my plate, started meditating regularly, and began attending yoga classes multiple times a week.

I was absolutely astounded at how the synergy of these three lifestyle changes completely transformed my quality of life.

So when my friends began asking me to what I owed my newfound glow, I couldn’t wait to endow them with the key to lasting health, effortless weight loss, and inner peace.

And so my lecture would begin. “It’s so simple! Just change your diet, start exercising, oh and don’t forget to meditate every day!”

Can you guess how many people I converted? Not a one. My regretful interlocutor would begin to nervously shift their weight, looking for any opportunity to end the conversation.

Finally, the realization made its way through my thick skull that everyone already knew that they should be eating right and exercising.

The last thing they wanted was to listen to someone else preach the values of diet, meditation, and exercise—what they already knew that they should be doing.

So I finally learned that knowledge isn’t enough to trigger a lifestyle change.

Despite knowing full well the value of yoga, meditation, and eating veggies, few people are able to make and sustain such changes, especially with career obligations, social engagements, and the other demands of modern life.

So I was left with a conundrum. What was it that had allowed me to make these changes? What was I missing in helping others to realize the same health benefits and increased quality of life?

I became obsessed with answering these questions, and thus a quest was born. A few months later I packed up my life and moved to Arizona to work for a holistic healing center.

I spent the next four years at the Tree of Life center in Patagonia, Arizona, where individuals are taught yoga, meditation, and a plant-based diet as a healing modality. I supported hundreds of people as they adopted the same lifestyle changes that I underwent, and the results have been powerful.

But what I was most interested in exploring was not the effects of diet, yoga, and meditation, but rather understanding what allows individuals to make and sustain these changes in their lives.

Why were some able to take these holistic health practices back into their busy everyday lives when they left the center? Why were some successful when others continued to struggle?

I devoured every book on the science of behavior change that I could get my hands on, and had the incredible opportunity of applying the principles in a real life setting.

The takeaway? Behavior change itself is a skill, and there are certain psychological triggers that we can employ to kickstart the process. Anyone can learn these triggers and cultivate the ability to make healthy changes that are sustainable and lasting.

Here are the four best ways to catalyze change:

1. Start small and celebrate success.

Healthy habits are the bedrock of lasting and sustainable health. Why? Because once established, they no longer require willpower to maintain.

But what is the best way to create a habit?

Stanford psychologist BJ Fogg has pioneered an extremely effective behavior change method that he calls Tiny Habits.

The premise? Start small and celebrate your successes.

Want to cook more plant-based meals? Start with putting a recipe book out on the counter on Sundays.

Want to start meditating? Start with just three breaths every time you sit down at the computer.

These tiny actions may seem insignificant, but by starting small we remove the biggest barrier to change—simply getting started.

Engineering (and celebrating) early success is key in reinforcing the creation of new habits and also motivates us to make bigger changes in the future.

Tiny habits transform into big habits, which cascade into big life changes.

2. Understand the motivation myth.

The key to changing behavior is motivation, right? We need to be motivated to cook healthy food, to go to the gym, to wake up early and study.

Not exactly.

Motivation naturally waxes and wanes, and psychologists have found that trying to change how motivated you are at any given moment is hard. Really hard.

The better bet is to use times of high motivation strategically.

Everyone has periods of peak productivity, and the best way to leverage these times of high motivation is to do something that helps structure future behavior.

Next time you find yourself having a super productive day, use that motivation to sign up for a weekly yoga class, invite an interested friend over to explore healthy cooking every Sunday, or plan a plant-based potluck.

These are all examples of setting up future events that will help keep you on track. Using your existing motivation to create accountability and social support increases follow through.

3. Get laser focused on one big win.

The archnemesis of healthy change is a pernicious little devil called overwhelm.

Take getting healthy for example: There are thousands of different dietary theories, conflicting health information, and more exercise programs than I can count.

Should you be fasting one day a week? Eating a low-carb or low-fat diet? Doing yoga? Jumpstarting yourself with a cleanse? Doing three hours of cardio weekly? Eating plant-based meals? Weight training?

The options are endless and analysis paralysis can easily set in.

Focusing on one big win is about identifying what is going to give you the greatest result for the least amount of effort.

For weight loss, a great “big win” is to focus on meals that are low in caloric density, i.e. plant-powered dishes which include a wide range of veggies, beans, grains, and greens.

You can eat as much of these nourishing, delicious, hearty foods as you like and make sustainable progress toward your goal weight.

Whatever your goal, find what gives you the biggest bang for your buck and ruthlessly cut back everything else.

Simplicity empowers change.

4. Learn one thing at a time.

In their book Switch: How To Change Things When Change Is Hard, authors Chip and Dan Heath share some surprising truths about change.

For me, the most interesting revelation is as follows: What looks like resistance is actually a lack of clarity.

When taking up healthy habits, there is almost always a learning curve.

We might go the gym, but we don’t really know how to work out.

We want to cook healthier meals, but the recipe is full of exotic ingredients we’ve never heard of before.

And we most often resist making these changes not because we are unmotivated, but because we don’t see a clear path forward. We don’t know the exact steps to take to begin eating better, exercising, or sitting down to meditate.

The best way to reduce the resistance and get started? Break down the task in front of you into baby steps and learn one thing at a time.

If you are interested in cooking healthier meals, first learn how to shop. Add a new-to-you ingredient to your list every time you go to the store.

Once shopping is a breeze, then devote time to learning to cook up a few quick, easy, and delectable healthy recipes.

Breaking down the learning curve into easy, manageable steps is one of the best ways to catalyze change.

The most important takeaway here is the understanding that behavior change is a skill that can be learned and cultivated.

There is no secret source of motivation, willpower, or discipline that some have and others don’t. Apply these psychological triggers and you’ll be well on your way to creating healthy habits that are sustainable and lasting.

- See more at: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-4-psychological-triggers-that-catalyze-change/#sthash.YRpPadXm.dpuf

MASTER YOUR EMOTIONAL HEALTH AND MASTER YOUR LIFE

MASTER YOUR EMOTIONAL HEALTH AND MASTER YOUR LIFE

Emotional mastery is the key to living a life that you direct. The capacity to have absolute direct power over what you feel in every single moment—no matter what happens around you—is one of the most important skill sets you can have.

There are three forces in the world that determine what you feel. These forces are called the Triad. Together, these three patterns create any—and every—emotional state.

Whatever you feel, you’re not feeling it because you have to feel it. You’re feeling it because you’ve chosen from the Triad. In order to master your emotions and consciously choose the emotions you want to live in, you need to understand these three forces and how to use them to your advantage.

#1: Physiology

Emotion is created by motion. Whatever you’re feeling right now is directly related to how you’re using your body. If you slump your shoulders and lean your head forward, you’ll move toward a state of depression. However, the next time you find yourself in a negative state, stand up, throw your shoulders back and take a few deep breaths. You’ll find that you’re able to put yourself in a resourceful state. From this state, you can make stronger decisions and enjoy a sense of certainty that will keep you calm in the face of uncertainty.

#2: Language

Language comes in many forms, one of which includes the questions you ask yourself, either aloud or inside your head. If you ask, “Why does this always have to happen to me?” you’ll create a much different set of emotions than if you asked, “How can I benefit from this?” or “Where’s the gift in this?” or “What’s humorous about this?”

The language patterns you run play a significant role in the meaning you give a situation—and the emotion that situation creates in you. When you feel negative emotions taking over, look at the language surrounding your situation. How can you shift it to create a more empowering state?

#3: Focus

Where focus goes, energy flows. And where energy flows, whatever you’re focusing on grows. In other words, your life is controlled by what you focus on. That’s why you need to focus on where you want to go, not on what you fear. When you next find yourself in a state of uncertainty, resist your fear. Shift your focus toward where you want to go and your actions will take you in that direction.

Understanding—and influencing—your Triad is the first step toward emotional mastery. When you can influence your emotions using the Triad, you can choose to spend more time in positive, resourceful emotional states. From these states, you’ll make the decisions that will help you reach your highest potential and enjoy your life in every moment.

http://training.tonyrobbins.com/master-your-emotional-health-and-master-your-life/

What Makes Successful People Succeed by Brian Tracy

How To Get Your Confidence Back

MARCH 11, 2015

It happens to everyone eventually – something deeply rattles your confidence. You lose a job, mess up at work, receive tough feedback, or are otherwise set back on your heels. If it’s bad enough, then your very vision of yourself gets cracked, and you can even begin to wonder what your strengths really are.

Given the importance of confidence, if we lose it, how then can we get it back?

In their online book, Catalyst, the founders of G5 Learning explain how confidence and competence are intertwined to create success.

However, without confidence, competence will only get you so far. Authors Smith and Marcum write: “Why do people with deep, distinct strengths, unfaltering motivation, and who dedicate themselves tirelessly to reaching their potential, fall short of their own expectations? In a word, confidence.”

According to research, women suffer from a lack of confidence more so than men. A 2011 study by the Institute of Leadership and Management surveyed British managers about how confident they feel in their jobs. Half of the female managers expressed a degree of doubt about their job performance while less than one third of male respondents expressed the same doubt. In another study, Brenda Major, a social psychologist at the University of California at Santa Barbara, asked men and women how they thought they were going to do on a variety of tasks. The results? She found that “men consistently overestimated their abilities and subsequent performance, and that the women routinely underestimated both.”

Even if women have more confidence doubts, there’s still plenty of insecurity to go around. As Smith and Marcum point out, the key to raise confidence is to rise above others’ (and your own) distorted images of yourself. As they say, it “isn’t controlled with an on-off switch. Instead it’s a constant stream of psychological strength that either sustains you, or is short-circuited by degrees of invincibility and doubt.”

So how do we boost our confidence when we need it most? Here are a few strategies:

1. Even when it’s hard, keep taking risks.

When we feel that we’ve failed, we often want to take ourselves out of the game, lick our wounds, and avoid risk. That’s the worst thing we can do.

Inaction keeps us mired in the space of loss. It’s only action which can create success and, in turn, confidence.

As Churchill famously said: “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Or if you prefer Joni Mitchell: “Action is the antidote to despair.”

2. Give yourself some small wins.

There’s no doubt that success breeds confidence, but it doesn’t have to be a huge one to help you build your confidence back.

Put yourself in a position to do incremental activities that capitalize on your strengths. Repeated, small wins can slowly bring you back to appreciating your talents.

3. Get perspective with a dose of appreciation.

If a failure is particularly stinging, it can overtake our thoughts and quickly get blown out of proportion. Find a way to take a step back and put it in the larger picture. Did you lose a promotion? Consider how many successes you’ve had to get to the place you are today. One promotion lost in a career is not a dead-end. 

Seek out friends and colleagues who appreciate what you do. If you can share the failure in a safe environment, you can gain the viewpoint that others have of you. We are always our harshest critics.

4. Stop comparing yourself to others.

One of the reasons that failure hurts is that we are concerned about what others will think of us. Rationally we may know that it doesn’t matter, but you just have to look at Facebook behavior to see how comparative we all are.

If your failure results in someone else’s success, try not to make it a zero sum game. Your losing a promotion now doesn’t mean you won’t get one later. Come from a place of abundance – there are more opportunities if this one didn’t go your way.

5. Try to find the hidden gem of learning.

No one can be perfect all of the time, and we all fail. When we do, if we can dig deep and see the failure as a chance to learn, we can use it to our advantage. If we can reframe, we may even find a positive message lying hidden inside.

It really is all about the journey. Failure teaches us the most lasting lessons. We get stronger. We learn more about ourselves. We gain perspective. And we go on.

When you do overcome your failures, remember to not hide them. Showing vulnerability can actually make you more influential and inspiring to others. We are drawn to those who have failed and gone on to success. It’s what makes you human…and just like the rest of us.

http://kristihedges.com/2015/03/11/get-confidence-back/