The Power of Persistence

By Z. Hereford

I tend to write articles on concepts I want to understand better myself, so when the quality of persistence came to mind, I saw it as an opportunity to enhance my insights on the subject.

I begin with the ubiquitous quote by Calvin Coolidge which aptly sums up the quality of persistence:

"Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”

The conventional definition of persistence is: "Refusing to give up or let go; persevering obstinately; firm or obstinate continuance in a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition."

Is it any wonder then, that persistence is the fundamental difference between a successful outcome and a failed outcome? In that case, it behooves us to develop the vital quality of persistence.

Here are some tips on developing persistence or perseverance:

Tips on How to Develop Persistence

➢ Decide what you want to accomplish and set goals. We all know how important setting goals is for achieving success in any endeavor, so take some time to figure out what it is you want. Do you want to lose ten pounds, graduate from college, run a marathon or be a business success? In a study done in New York several years ago researchers surprisingly found that people who set clear, concise goals succeeded in achieving them 95% of the time! Interestingly, the one caveat or stipulation was that they only achieved their goals if they refused to quit and continued to bounce back from difficulties along the way.

Indeed, no significant feat has ever been accomplished without the trials and tribulations that go along with it. In his wonderful poem Don't Quit Edgar Albert Guest gives us plenty of inspiration and encouragement to forge ahead, particularly when the going gets tough. (Have a look at the poem: Don't Quit).

➢ Prepare for Obstacles and Setbacks. Know and accept that there will be obstacles and setbacks; then prepare for them. Nothing important was every accomplished without adversity, setbacks and difficulties to contend with along the way. Henry Ford went bankrupt three times before he managed to design his first automobile. As we all know and are grateful for, he subsequently succeeded to become one of the richest men in the world. He said: "Failure is merely an opportunity to more intelligently begin again.” Thomas Edison is said to have tried 10,000 times to create the light bulb before he succeeded. His attitude was: "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that don't work." Persistence is definitely the difference between a successful outcome and a failed one due to giving up.

One of the ways you can prepare for setbacks and obstacles is to anticipate potential problems and have a contingency plan. For example, if you're trying to lose weight, you must know that there will be occasions when it's not possible to stick to your weight loss regimen. In such cases, you will need to prepare alternative meals ahead of time or be mentally prepared to deviate from your regimen. Unfortunately, instead of allowing for and being prepared in such situations, many people give up entirely declaring it impossible to stick any diet. In doing so, they often sabotage all healthy eating and give up in despair.

Another example would be endeavoring to become a marathon runner and you fail on your first attempt at finishing a marathon. Should you give up and never try again? No, not at all! You would have to figure out where you may have miscalculated your fitness level, the type of food you ate and your training patterns. After doing some research to find out how improve, you would then give it another whirl!

Also keep in mind that when we are overwhelmed with a problem or difficulty, we don't have time then to develop the persistence necessary to deal with the particular obstacle or set back. However, if we plan in advance for life's inevitable ups and downs, we will be psychologically ready when they come upon us.

➢ Take the first step. You cannot persevere; much less succeed, if you never try to accomplish something. So many of us procrastinate, fear failure or are too frozen in our tracks to take the first step towards achievement. You will not fail if you don’t try something, however, you will never succeed either. As the popular saying goes, "The only real failure in life is the failure to try."

➢ Review, reevaluate and revise. If things do not work out the way you hoped then review the steps you took and the process you followed. Reevaluate by examining what went wrong and where. What didn't work? What could you have done better? Did you have all the necessary skills and tools? Your findings will be most illuminating, and in turn, allow you to set up a better, more comprehensive approach. You will revise and improve the current strategy.

➢ Garner support and encouragement. Stay away from naysayers; instead seek advice from those experienced in your field of endeavor and those who want you to succeed. They can assist you by making suggestions and recommendations based on their experience and expertise. You will still have to do the hard work, but there is nothing more encouraging than having positive reinforcement.

➢ Maintain focus. One of the obstacles to attaining success is losingmotivation and focus. A good way to maintain focus is to visualize yourself accomplishing your goal no matter what it takes. Vividly see yourself accomplishing your goal – keep your eye on the prize. Likewise, avoid getting caught up in negative or unproductive thinking such as, "This will never work." "I can't do this." Instead, keep inspiring slogans handy, pictures of those who have persevered in life, and whatever else will motivate and boost your drive.

➢ Enjoy! The greatest feelings of accomplishment derive from knowing you've overcome obstacles and conquered adversities to achieve your goals. Your ultimate success will be exponentially more satisfying and fulfilling when you know what it took to get there.

People who have persisted in spite of disabilities and obstacles:

• Ludwig van Beethoven (composer, pianist) became deaf at the age of 30 and composed most of his beloved works after he lost his hearing.
• Helen Keller (author) was deaf and blind from the age of 19 months. She wrote 12 books, various articles and was the first blind person to receive a Bachelor of Arts degree.
• Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder (musicians) both of whom are blind have achieved much in their genres of music.
• James Earl Jones (actor) known for his booming resonant voice was once a stutterer.
• Marlee Matlin (academy award-winning actress) is deaf.
• Itzhak Perlman (virtuoso concert violinist) has legs paralyzed from polio.
• Terry Fox (runner) was an amputee from cancer.

As you can see from the wonderful examples above, obstacles and adversity need not stop you from accomplishing great things. If anything, courageous persistence is the one quality more than any other that can guarantee success.
http://www.essentiallifeskills.net/persistence-perseverance.html

Conquer Change Part 1

Imagine the apocalypse is upon us.
Let’s say Ebola or some other radical disease has reduced the planets population down to 600 people.
Everyone is likely to die without help and YOU have to make a decision.

A scientist believes she has found a cure, but she isn’t sure.
She has two versions and can’t bear to choose between them.
Her scientific estimates are exact, but she leaves the choice up to you.

Now here are your two options.
Read carefully so you can choose correctly.

1. Cure A is guaranteed to save exactly 200 people.
2. Cure B has a 1/3 probability of saving 600, but a 2/3 probability of saving NO ONE.

The fate future generations is now in your hands.
Which do you pick?

Let me repeat them so you can be sure:
Cure A is guaranteed to save exactly 200 people. 
Cure B has a 1/3 probability of saving 600, but a 2/3 probability of saving NO ONE.

Mark your answer Cure A or B and let’s reimagine the scenario.
Same setup, everyone is going to die without a cure, but this time if you use Cure C it is certain exactly 400 people will die. Cure D has a 1/3 probability of killing no one, but a 2/3 probability killing 600.

Which one do you choose? Yes I’ll repeat:
Cure C it is certain exactly 400 people will die. 
Cure D has a 1/3 probability of killing no one, but a 2/3 probability killing 600.
Now choose.

In the first scenario did you pick Cure A and Cure D in the second?
You realize that both situations presented were actually the same with different framing.
The results showed how quickly we flock to the option that minimizes loss—the one with the least perceived change. Because we’re so opposed to inciting change, logic can go right out the window. Crazy, isn’t it?

In this 2 part series, we are going to help you conquer change.
So why is it that we struggle so much with change?

It is because our brain does not like change.
It prefers the safety, survival and essentially the status quo.

One way to understand this is by looking at our brain’s threat-reward system.
The motivation behind much of our behavior is driven by the desire to minimize threat andmaximize reward. Neuroscientists call this fundamental principle the ‘walk towards, run away’ theory.

When we feel threatened due to a proposed merger, a restructure in the organization or anticipation of a presentation we have to give to a large audience, we are inclined to avoid what seems threatening, rather than embrace it. We feel uncertain, our brains focus on the negative and we find ways to disengage.

Our brains are extremely effective in tenaciously maintaining the status quo.
The design of our brain predisposes us to taking the easy way out.

At the same time we wouldn’t be human if we couldn’t change.
Human society is one of constant change and reinvention.
We evolved from single cell organisms over eons, so adaptation is in our blood.

As modern humans we are geared to life-long learning and growth.
Our brain cells are continually forming new connections and restructuring our perceptions and physiology over time. This process of neuroplasticity happens thousands of times a day, giving us enormous potential to change if we put awareness, effort and commitment into making it happen.

So how do we reprogram our brain to welcome and accept change? In next week’s post I will give you six brain hacks to short circuit your brain’s natural tendency to sabotage your change and get you started on a massive personal transformation. Make sure you are subscribed HEREso you don’t miss out on what transformed my life (and brain!) so that I could start conquering change. Trust me, it’s a good one.

http://darrenhardy.success.com/2015/03/conquer-change-1/

DAILY HABITS OF SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE: IT’S ALL ABOUT ROUTINE

The most successful people all have certain habits in their daily routines.

They help contribute to their success and can be considered good habits to form. It could be something simple like, setting a goal to, “Do good each day,” like Benjamin Franklin did.

It could also be something more elaborate such as spending most of your morning in bed like Winston Churchill. Churchill would wake up at 7:30am daily, eat breakfast, read his mail and newspaper until 11am.

MY FAVORITE HABITS OF MILLIONAIRES

Habits of Millionaires vary, but I am going to share one of my favorite daily habits of successful people with you. It is something that I use every day and has contributed greatly to my success.

It is the habit of making a list before the day begins.

Let me tell you below why it is so important…

Here are the 3 steps to planning and making your daily list.

1. PLAN YOUR DAY THE NIGHT BEFORE

Every minute spent in planning saves 10 minutes in execution. Sit down with a piece of paper and write down everything that you need to do the coming day. If for any reason you don’t do this, it should be the first thing you do every morning. When you write a list you have a track to run on.

Writing a list clarifies your thinking and goals…

Writing down a list forces you to think at a higher level…

If you start working from a list you increase you output 25% each day.

One of the habits of millionaires is that they start their day working from a list.

2. SET PRIORITIES ON YOUR LIST BEFORE YOU START THE DAY

Work from the 80/20 rule. If you have 10 items on your list of things to do, two will be the more important than all of the other items put together.

Go down your list and answer the question, “If I were to be called out of town for a month, what are the most important tasks that I must accomplish?”

Last fall I was out of the country traveling across 15 countries in 36 days. When I looked at my list of things to do before I left, I had to get my most important tasks done.

Once you identify these most important tasks, it brings us to the final step in starting your day.

3. COMPLETE THE MOST IMPORTANT TASK FIRST

Begin immediately on your most important task and focus on it and only it until completion.

All success in life comes from project completion and living a life of good habits will help you complete more projects.

A project with multiple tasks is called a “multi-task job”. This means that there are several smaller jobs to complete the larger job. Organize your jobs by sequence in a checklist and start on you most important project.

Complete the smaller jobs in you project, until the entire project is complete. This process is called “single handling” and it’s one of the most powerful things that you can use in managing your time. You can increase your productivity by 50% by planning, starting and completing your most important tasks every single day.

CONCLUSION

If you can develop these habits of successful people and do those three things, plan your day the night before, organize your tasks in order of importance, and complete your most important task first thing during your day. You will increase your productivity overnight
http://www.briantracy.com/blog/time-management/daily-habits-of-successful-people-its-all-about-routine/

5 Fundamentals for Success in Life

by Mark Harrison | 64 comments

What can we do to become more successful? How can we excel in all areas of life, whether professional or personal? A vast body of literature has been written on this subject over the decades, but here are five points which I regard as being fundamental.

How to Be Succeessful in Life

1. Be Proactive

Viktor Frankl said that between stimulus and response there is a gap, and within this gap lies all our freedom. Even as he was suffering immense privations in a Nazi concentration camp, he realized that he was responsible for his thoughts and actions and was not simply a bundle of conditioned responses.Like Frankl, we should strive to be the creators of our own destiny, orchestrating our experience of life. Everything starts in the mind and ripples out, so what happens around us is a reflection of our own inner world. Whether we allow our inner world to grow wild, whether we let weeds spring up and take hold or whether we cultivate a green and pleasant garden – it is all our choice: this is what it means to be proactive.

2. Take Responsibility

Since we have the power to choose our experience, we also need to accept responsibility for this. Perhaps not that everything that comes our way is a direct result of our own thinking (though some might say it is) but what we attract into our life is, largely, a reflection of our thinking. Much of this occurs on a subconscious level, but the subconscious takes its lead from the thinking mind, so changing our thoughts will change our world, and we are responsible for this.

Our behavior is a natural outcome of our mental images, and so we are responsible for our behavior too, and also for the behavior we tolerate in others. If we allow others to ride roughshod over us, then we have ourselves to blame.

3. Be a Good Leader

We cannot be effective in any area of life unless we have good leadership skills. Leadership is an art and each of us needs to find our own approach to it. Primarily, we need to understand how to lead ourselves, and this means having a compass, a direction which guides all our actions. This compass often takes the form of a personal mission statement, a document spelling out the values we live by.

As we lead others, whether as parents, bosses, in families or organizations of which we are a part, we need first and foremost to lead by example, making it clear what our values are and that we live by them. Any inconsistency in our professed values and our behavior will be spotted, seen through and will ruin our effectiveness. Personal complicity and double standards are the nails in the coffin of our ability to lead.

A good leader will lead quietly and subtly, from the rear, without fuss, without fanfare. In the words of the Tao Te Ching,

‘A good soldier does not inspire fear;
A good fighter does not display aggression;
A good conqueror does not engage in battle;
A good leader does not exercise authority.

This is the value of unimportance;
This is how to win the cooperation of others;
This to how to build the same harmony that is in nature.’

4. Don’t Let Fear Stop You

I love the movies of M Night Shyamalan. My favorite is The Village. The film is about facing the fears that haunt us and realizing that, when we do so, they disappear – nothing is as it seems. I heard once (though I can’t remember where) that the most commonly given command in the Bible is ‘do not be afraid.’

Whenever we grow, there is fear. Whenever we do something new, there is fear. Whenever we push ourselves to new heights or expand our comfort zone, there is fear. This is the nature of life. Life is always moving – either we are moving forward, growing, or we are moving back, dying. We have a choice – we can either grow or we can die. Growth and fear go hand in hand. It’s part of a package, and if we fail to embrace the whole package, we will die.

Don’t fear failure – failure is inevitable and necessary. Look at the life of any successful person and you will see a litany of failure. This failure is the foundation of success, so long as we learn from it.

Don’t fear other people. They are as vulnerable and as beautiful as you are – only sometimes they lash out in various ways to protect themselves. Everyone is doing their best, so be gentle on other people and don’t be scared of them.

When you face your fears, they will vanish like smoke.

5. Never Stop Learning

I have come to the conclusion that learning is the fundamental activity in a successful and purposeful life. If we fail to learn, we fail to grow, and this means that we die. Life gives us endless opportunities to learn, and the more difficult the situation, the more we are likely to learn.

We can learn from other people, especially difficult ones – they are like angels sent from heaven to teach us about ourselves. We can learn from the things happening around us. And most of all, we can learn by watching ourselves, seeing how we react and reflecting deeply on what moves us.

These five activities, if they can become habits, will lead to success in all areas of life. They are not a quick fix, but are the foundation of a life lived well.

http://www.thechangeblog.com/success-in-life/

Photo by pshutterbug

LEADERSHIP – IT’S ALL IN THE MINDSET

Leadership – It’s all in the mindset

Steve Siebold in his book, How Rich People Think, says that the “haves” believe that money reveals who people really are, whereas the “have-nots” believe that money changes people from who they were into someone else. The same thing can be said of those who find themselves in positions of leadership. Those who know how to handle it, also knew before they were given it, while those who misunderstood from the beginning simply proved that fact when they got promoted.

Effective leadership is all about adopting the right mindset . Understanding what is expected of a leader (by yourself and others) and valuing those things.  If you value the right things then you are more likely to invest the time to doing the right things!

If you already know how to use the power that you’ve been entrusted with, then the following five leadership mindsets will seem like common sense. But if you are among the majority who are still learning to be an effective leader, or simply looking to raise your game, then study these points carefully. Even you can learn to dance.

It’s better to be a shepherd than a lion tamer.

In most cases, employees need to be nurtured. They need to be encouraged to be all that they can, but within the limits of what they are capable of.

Shepherds do this. They let their sheep wander across the hills to look for the grass that appeals to them the most. But sometimes those sheep get lost. They end up in places where they shouldn’t have gone. That’s when the shepherd comes along and helps them to get back to where they belong. Shepherds, however, don’t use a chair to keep their sheep at an arm’s length; neither do they use a bull-whip to demonstrate who’s in charge. Even when they have a sheepdog to help, they provide gentle support and guidance that helps ensure the sheep are corralled and moving together.

Leadership Mindset #1: Coaching is an important skill of effective leaders.

It’s better to over-appreciate than to under-appreciate.

Many leaders and managers take their subordinates for granted. They assume they’ll always be there, and their opinion is that “no news is good news.” Which means that the only time that they saying anything is when those who work for them, in their opinion, have caused a problem.

The truth is that you need them more than they need you. In fact, your success depends almost entirely on the work they do. As a leader, your job is to finesse, to shape, to direct, and as necessary, to dig in with the troops.

Leadership Mindset #2: Celebrate the success you achieve through and with others more than that achieved through your own efforts.

Knowledge that is hoarded will undermine your success.

Contrary to popular opinion, information is kinetic power. That means that it only has the potential to be powerful. But to unleash it, you must share it. If you don’t, then it makes youpowerless. It prevents you from doing anything through others and let’s face it: You can’t do it all by yourself.

You demonstrate real power when your people can do a great job without you. If you to hold their hands all the time, then you’re doing something wrong.

Leadership Mindset #3: It’s better to share what you know than to keep it to yourself.

It’s easier to keep people motivated than to motivate the demotivated.

Hardly anyone starts a new job demotivated. Usually they’re so excited that they can’t wait to get busy, they arrive at their new company, or new job, on the first day feeling like a rock-star, wanting to be a rock-star. The demotivation comes later, after they’ve been there for a little while. Six months seems to be about the average. There are many possible causes, but the biggest one probably is that they realize that their boss or their organization doesn’t value them anymore; that instead, they’re just a warm body.

Do yourself a favor: Remember that you hired them because of the value that you believed they would contribute. Make sure that that they know that you know that and, while you’re at it, provide them with a supportive environment so they can.

Leadership Mindset #4: You hired rock-stars, help ensure that everyone gets to play to their strengths.

 It’s easier to make a good decision than to try to fix a bad one.

Good decisions come from obtaining salient information; and to get it, you have to listen.

Listening is a lost art. Most people believe that it means to pay attention just long enough to gather their own thoughts so that they can interject their ideas as soon as the other person pauses for breath. And if the lung capacity of the one seems to be more than a few seconds, they interrupt anyway, because they’re convinced that what they know is far more relevant than what anyone else does.

In the words of a wise sage, learn to shut-up. You may be responsible for making the decisions, but you certainly don’t have all the answers.

Leadership Mindset #5: Exceptional leaders W.A.I.T. They ask themselves “Why Am I Talking?”

If  you put these five leadership mindsets into practice, then you’ll be well on your way to exercising the power you’ve been given responsibly, and your staff will reward you by giving you more cooperation than you imagined possible.
http://peopledevelopmentmagazine.com/blog/2014/11/12/leadership-mindset/

The 6 Basic Human Needs That Make Us Tick

 

3
2

 

1

I’ve seen it a million times–people equate their net worth with their self worth. Their identity is married so deeply to their bank statements and quarterly portfolio reports that they’ve forgotten that money is simply a vehicle for trying to meet our needs, almost all of which are not financial.

We’re all familiar with the cliche that money cannot buy happiness, but I’m convinced that almost everybody has to learn that lesson the hard way because let’s face it; the idea of having enough money to throw at your problems until they’re solved is a seductive impulse.

It certainly was something I constantly thought about as a kid. Growing up, money was always out of reach. It was always a source of stress because there was never enough of it. I remember knocking on the neighbor’s door to ask for food for my brother and sister and me.

Then, on a Thanksgiving Day when I was 11 years old, something happened that changed  my life forever. As usual, there was no food in the house, and my parents were fighting. I heard someone knocking at the front door. I opened it a crack and saw a man standing on the  steps with grocery bags filled with enough food for a big Thanksgiving dinner. I could hardly  believe it.

Fast forward several years to when I was 17. I saved my money from working nights as a janitor and went out on Thanksgiving and fed two families. It was one of the most moving experiences of my life. I’d learned the joy of giving and to this day I consider contribution to be one of the six most important things every person needs.

Whatever emotion you’re after, whatever vehicle you pursue—building a business, getting married, raising a family, traveling the world—whatever you think your nirvana is, there are six basic, universal needs that make us tick and drive all human behavior. Combined, they are the force behind the crazy things (other) people do and the great things we do. We all have the same six needs, but how we value those needs and in what order, determines the direction of our life.

Need 1: Certainty/Comfort

The first human need is the need for Certainty. It’s our need to feel in control and to know what’s coming next so we can feel secure. It’s the need for basic comfort, the need to avoid pain and stress, and also to create pleasure. Our need for certainty is a survival mechanism. It affects how much risk we’re willing to take in life—in our jobs, in our investments, and in our relationships.

The higher the need for certainty, the less risk you’ll be willing to take or emotionally bear. By the way, this is where your real “risk tolerance” comes from.

Need 2: Uncertainty/Variety

Let me ask you a question: Do you like surprises?

If you answered “yes,” you’re kidding yourself! You like the surprises you want. The ones you don’t want, you call problems! But you still need them to put some muscle in your life. You can’t grow muscle—or character—unless you have something to push back against.

Need 3: Significance

We all need to feel important, special, unique, or needed. So how do some of us get significance? You can get it by earning billions of dollars, or collecting academic degrees—distinguishing yourself with a master’s or a PhD. You can build a giant Twitter following. Or you can go on The Bachelor or become the next Real Housewife of Orange County. Some do it by putting tattoos and piercings all over themselves and in places we don’t want to know about.

You can get significance by having more or bigger problems than anybody else. “You think your husband’s a dirt bag, take mine for a day!” Of course, you can also get it by being more spiritual (or pretending to be).

Spending a lot of money can make you feel significant, and so can spending very little. We all know people who constantly brag about their bargains, or who feel special because they heat their homes with cow manure and sunlight. Some very wealthy people gain significance by hiding their wealth. Like the late Sam Walton, the founder of Wal-Mart and for a time the richest man in America, who drove around Bentonville, Arkansas, in his old pickup, demonstrating he didn’t need a Bentley—but of course, he did have his own private fleet of jets standing by.

Significance is also a money maker—that’s where my dear friend Steve Wynn has made his fortune. The man who made Las Vegas what it is today knows people will pay for anything they believe is “the best,” anything that makes them feel special, unique or important, anything that makes them stand out from the crowd. He provides the most exclusive, luxurious experiences imaginable in his casinos and hotels—they are truly magnificent and unmatched in the world.

Need 4: Love & Connection

The fourth basic need is Love and Connection. Love is the oxygen of life; it’s what we all want and need most. When we love completely we feel alive, but when we lose love, the pain is so great that most people settle on connection, the crumbs of love. You can get that sense of connection or love through intimacy, or friendship, or prayer, or walking in nature. If nothing else works, you can get a dog.

These first four needs are what I call the needs of the personality. We all find ways to meet these—whether by working harder, coming up with a big problem, or creating stories to rationalize them. The last two are the needs of the spirit. These are more rare—not everyone meets these. When these needs are met, we truly feel fulfilled.

Need 5: Growth

If you’re not growing, you’re dying. If a relationship is not growing, if a business is not growing, if you’re not growing, it doesn’t matter how much money you have in the bank, how many friends you have, how many people love you—you’re not going to experience real fulfillment. And the reason we grow, I believe, is so we have something of value to give.

Need 6: Contribution

Corny as it may sound, the secret to living is giving. Life’s not about me; it’s about we. Think about it, what’s the first thing you do when you get good or exciting news? You call somebody you love and share it. Sharing enhances everything you experience.

Life is really about creating meaning. And meaning does not come from what you get, it comes from what you give. Ultimately it’s not what you get that will make you happy long term, but rather who you become and what you contribute will.

Now think about how money can fulfill the six human needs. Can money give us certainty? You bet. Variety? Check. Obviously it can make us feel important or significant. But what about connection and love? In the immortal words of the Beatles, money can’t buy you love. But it can buy you that dog! And it can, unfortunately, give you a false sense of connection because it attracts relationships, although not always the most fulfilling kind. How about growth? Money can fuel growth in business and in learning. And the more money you have, the more you can contribute financially.

But here’s what I truly believe: if you value Significance above all else, money will always leave you empty unless it comes from a contribution you’ve made. And if you’re looking for significance from money, it’s a high price to pay. You’re looking for big numbers but it’s unlikely you’ll find big fulfillment.

The ultimate significance in life comes not from something external, but from something internal. It comes from a sense of esteem for ourselves, which is not something we can ever get from someone else. People can tell you you’re beautiful, smart, intelligent, the best, or they can tell you that you are the most horrible human being on earth—but what matters is what you think about yourself. Whether or not you believe that deep inside you are continuing to grow and push yourself, to do and give more than was comfortable or you even thought possible. The wealthiest person on earth is one who appreciates.

http://addicted2success.com/success-advice/the-6-basic-human-needs-that-make-us-tick/

Stephen Covey on Developing Emotional Intelligence

“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” ? Oscar Wilde
Emotional Intelligence is essentially an ability, capacity, or skill to assess, manage, and regulate the emotions of yourself and others.
Why is emotional intelligence such a big deal? …
If you can’t manage your emotions, you crumble or snap under stress. If you can’t manage your emotions, you can’t motivate or inspire yourself effectively to do the things you need to do.  If you can’t manage your emotions, you can’t use your best thinking.  You get stuck in your lizard brain, and cut off from your ability to respond more effectively when it counts.
If you can’t tune into others’ emotions and demonstrate empathy, you’ll have a hard time connecting with others.  You’ll have a hard time creating rapport.  If you can’t see and feel the emotions of others, then you’ll have a hard time influencing or leading others effectively.  As a manager, you’ll be the pointy-haired boss.
Yeah, emotional intelligence is a big deal.
It’s a key for leaders and it’s a key for leadership.  Whether it’s self-leadership, or leading others, emotional intelligence picks up where other intelligence leaves off.  To put it another way …
“”No one cares how much you know until they first know how much you care about them.” (See The Only Management Strategy You’ll Ever Need)
In the book, The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness, Stephen Covey acknowledges that there’s a lack of literature on how to develop emotional intelligence, and shares an approach for how to develop emotional intelligence using the 7 Habits.

The Five Primary Components of Emotional Intelligence

Stephen Covey shares the five primary components of emotional intelligence:

1. Self-Awareness — The ability to reflect on one’s own life, grow in self-knowledge, and use that knowledge to improve onseself and either consume or compentsate for weaknesses.
2. Personal Motivation — What really excites people — the vision, values, goals, hopes, desires, and passion that make up their priorities.
3. Self-Regulation — The ability to manage onseself twoard achieving one’s vision and values.
4. Empathy — The ability to see how other people see and feel about things.
5. Social Skills — How people resolve differences, solve problems, produce creative solutions, and interact optimally to further their joint purposes.

The 7 Habits and Principles

According to Stephen Covey, here is a simple look at the 7 Habits and the principles that they encapsulate:

Habit	Principle
Habit 1 – Be Proactive	Responsibility / Initiative
Habit 2 – Begin with the End in Mind	Vision / Values
Habit 3 – Put First Things First	Integrity / Execution
Habit 4 – Think Win-Win	Mutual Respect / Benefit
Habit 5 – Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood	Mutual Understanding
Habit 6 – Synergize	Creative Cooperation
Habit 7 – Sharpen the Saw	Renewal

Developing Emotional Intelligence Using the 7 Habits

Stephen Covey shares an approach to developing emotional intelligence using the 7 Habits outlines above:

Emotional Intelligence Component	Habit
Self-Awareness	Habit 1 – Be Proactive
Personal Motivation	Habit 2 – Begin with the End in Mind
Self-Regulation	Habit 3 – Put First Things First Habit 7 – Sharpen the Saw
Empathy	Habit 5 – Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
Social Skills	Habit 4 – Think Win-Win Habit 5 – Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood Habit 6 – Synergize

Practicing Your Emotional Intelligence with the 7 Habits

Here is a brief summary of how Stephen Covey says you can practice the 7 Habits to develop your emotional intelligence:

1. Self-Awareness – Covey says, “You are aware of the space between stimulus and response, you’re aware of your genetic, biological inheritance, your upbringing, and the environmental forces around you. … You  sense you are or can become the creative force of your own life.  This is your most fundamental decision.” Practice Habit 1 – Be Proactive.
2. Personal Motivation – Covey says, “… decide what your highest priorities, goals, and values are. … This decision to direct your own life is your primary decision.” Practice Habit 2 – Begin with the End in Mind.
3. Self-Regulation – Covey says, “ … once you decide what your priorities are, then you live by them; it is the habit of integrity, the habit of self-mastery, of doing what you intend to do; of living your values.  Then constantly renew yourself.  Execution strategies and tactical decisions are your secondary decisions.” Practice Habit 3 – Put First Things First and Habit 7 – Sharpen the Saw.
4. Empathy – Covey says, “It’s learning to transcend your own autobiography  and get into the head and hearts of other people.  It’s becoming socially sensitive and aware of the situation before attempting to be understood, influence others, or make decisions or judgments.” Practice Habit 5 – Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood.
5. Social Communication Skills – Covey says, “You think in terms of mutual benefit and mutual respect, you strive for mutual understanding in order to have creative cooperation.” Practice Habit 4 – Think Win-Win, Habit 5 – Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood, and Habit 6 – Synergize.

One simple way you can practice each day is when you are talking.  See if you can echo back what you hear the other person say, in a way that they “feel” heard.  This is a big deal.  It’s not listening until you think you’ve heard them … it’s listening in a way where they *feel* you’ve heard them.
The difference, is all the difference.  That’s what this is about.http://sourcesofinsight.com/stephen-covey-on-developing-emotional-intelligence/

Personal Development-Self Awareness