HOW TO REMAIN CALM UNDER PRESSURE & OVERCOME PROBLEMS IN 9 STEPS

 January 14, 2015 by Brian Tracy 
 Personal Success  how to overcome problems,  how to solve problems in life

Recently Kenny from Facebook asked me,

“How do you stay motivated and keep your cool when things are going badly around you?”

Here are some tips on how to stay positive and motivated when times get tough and you face problems. If you want to learn how to overcome your problems and stay motivated, keep reading…

1) DON’T BLAME OTHERS

To be your own turnaround specialist, to take complete control over your life in a crisis, the first thing you must do is to accept 100% responsibility for yourself and for everything that happens from this minute forward.

Accept responsibility and take charge. You especially must keep yourself positive and focused. You do this by reminding yourself and repeating these words:

‘‘I am responsible! I am responsible! I am responsible!’’

Above all, refuse to blame anyone for anything. Anger and negative emotions of all kinds are dependent upon blame for their very existence. As soon as you stop blaming other people for what has happened and take responsibility for the future, your negative emotions cease, your mind becomes calm and clear, and you begin to make better decisions.

As soon as you stop blaming other people for what has happened and take responsibility for the future, your negative emotions cease, your mind becomes calm and clear, and you begin to make better decisions.

2) HOW TO REMAIN CALM UNDER PRESSURE

The starting point of staying calm under pressure is for you to refuse to react automatically and unthinkingly. Instead, take a deep breath to calm your mind and then think carefully about your next words and actions. Imagine that everyone is watching.

Imagine that everyone is watching. Imagine that this situation is a test to see what you are truly made of. Imagine that everyone is waiting to see how you will respond.

Resolve to set a good example, to be a role model for others, to demonstrate the correct way to deal with a major problem, as if you were giving a lesson.

3) GET THE FACTS

Instead of overreacting, keep yourself calm by asking questions of the other people involved. Listen patiently to the answers.

If there is a solution, your job is to find it by fully understanding what has happened before you respond.

4) ASK QUESTIONS

Ask key questions and listen carefully to the answers. Here are some that will help you get at the facts: What is the situation exactly?

• What is the situation exactly?
• What has happened?
• How did it happen?
• When did it happen?
• Where did it happen?
• What are the facts?
• How do we know that these facts are accurate?
• Who was involved?
• Who is responsible for doing (or not doing) certain things?

The very act of asking questions and gathering facts keeps you calm and increases your courage and confidence.

The more facts you have, the stronger and more capable you will feel about making good decisions to solve the problem and get through the crunch.

5) WRITE IT DOWN

Begin by asking, ‘‘What, exactly, is the problem?’’ If you are working by yourself, write down a clear statement of the problem on a piece of paper.

We find that if you can get the problem down on paper it starts to solve itself. Then write down what all of the possible solutions to the problem.

You will find that when you write out your problem and solutions, you will be able to identify the best way to solve it quickly. It may not seem like a problem at all after you write it down.

6) TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT

By trying something different or taking a different approach to solving a problem. You may find a new, more beneficial way to go about things.

When something fails, by taking a different approach and solving what went wrong the first time, will help you improve over the long run.

7) COMMUNICATE WITH OTHERS

Sometimes, talking over the problem with a spouse or trusted friend will help immensely to keep you calm and controlled. Go for a long walk and review the situation, examining it from every angle, seeking a possible solution. Remain optimistic, no matter what is going on.

Look for something good in the problem or situation. Very often, what appears to be a major setback is an opportunity in disguise. The complete failure of a project, process, or business venture may be exactly what you need because it may compel you to channel your time and resources in another direction.

8) MAKE A DECISION

No matter what happens, seek the valuable lesson in every difficulty and setback.

Within every problem you face, there is the seed of an equal or greater benefit or advantage. When you discipline yourself to look for the good in the situation, and to seek the valuable lessons that the situation or crisis might contain, you automatically remain calm, positive, and optimistic.

As a result, all the powers of your wonderful mind remain available to you to solve the problem or resolve the crisis.

9) GET BUSY SOLVING THE PROBLEM

Get so busy taking action that and solving the problem and bringing about a solution, that you don’t have time to worry or think about the problem anymore. The only real antidote to worry, is purposeful action in the direction of your goals.

Instead of becoming upset or doubting yourself and your abilities, decide to take action, any action, to resolve the difficulty and get yourself through the crunch. Remind yourself that problems come not to obstruct, but to instruct. Related article: The 10-Step Process to Solve Any Problem

CONCLUSION

When times get tough and you are faced with any of life’s complicated problems, stay motivated knowing that using this technique you can recognize and develop strategies to solve any problem.http://www.briantracy.com/blog/personal-success/how-to-remain-calm-under-pressure-overcome-problems-in-9-steps/?lid=title

Disconnected Days

I have a problem.
A very serious problem.
It’s destroying my (productive) life.
My problem: I am easily seduced.
It seems I am weak.
Every day I set out to be disciplined.
Every day I promise I will not stray.
But every day somehow the siren’s song of email, texts, phone calls and social alerts always prostrate me.
I submit.
I give in.
And once again the grand intentions of my day are squandered in the vortex of reacting to the calls of other people’s agenda.
But no more.
I am no longer going to rely on my good intentions, my well-laid plans for the day or my will power to stay the course.

When I set out into the wide blue ocean of my day, where the siren lay, I am going to tie myself to my mast AND put wax in my ears.
I don’t need to hear their songs at all.
Here is the hard truth…
When I prioritize my day never does checking email or responding to unsolicited communications ever make my list, but somehow, someway it always seems to consume much of my day.
Is this true for you too?
We are living in drastic times.
The sirens have multiplied. They are now everywhere, all around us, all the time.
We sit in front of them all day, we carry them around with us in our pocket and even lay them next to our head as we sleep.
Their songs have never been so loud or so relentless.
Their songs have never been more tantalizing or more seductive.
We live in an era of constant and never ending distraction.
Drastic times require drastic measures.
Thus, my goal for 2015 is: 100 Disconnected Days*.
*Disconnected Day: A day focused on creative production or rest and recovery off the digital communication grid.
Yes, 100 days includes weekends.
I know that doesn’t sound difficult, but in 2014 I had ZERO Disconnected Days.
ZERO days where I was not connected/distracted by email, phone calls, texts or social media communications.
To go from 0 to 100 will be a giant feat.
To have 100 days completely dedicated to creative production and some revitalization will give me the foundation I need to crush the productivity of 2014, which was my most productive year to date.
How about you?
How many truly Disconnected Days did you have in 2014?
How often were the intentions and productive plans of your day sacrificed to the seductive siren’s song of email and the rest?
I invite you to join me on this challenge: 100 Disconnected Days.
Use them to do focused project work and/or to recover and revitalize.
Even just one workday and one weekend day would get you to the goal.
But be warned.
If you do choose to join me, this will be harder than it sounds.
The siren’s songs are so lovely and so beautiful and you are emotionally and psychologically addicted to hearing them.
Even with wax in your ears and your hands and feet bound, you will be tempted to surrender.
You might not think so now, but when you are sailing through your day it will be hard not to stray.
I ask you to keep in mind the incredible production, value and impact you can create once you are no longer under the spell of the wicked mermaids of distraction.
You will need the help of those around you to bind you tighter if they see you trying to wiggle loose.
Below is the auto-responder I have on my email during one of my Disconnected Days.
I suggest you use something similar.
It will keep you honest in the court of public commitment.

Subject: [AUTO] Disconnected…
…from The Matrix
Today is a Disconnected Day*
Know that your message has been received and will be dealt with when I plug back in.
-Darren
*Disconnected Day: A day focused on creative production or rest and recovery off the digital communication grid. Learn more about Disconnected Days here.
2015 Goal: 100 DDs.
This auto-responder helps keep me accountable to this goal.
If you hear from me on a day you receive this auto-responder then I have failed.
P.S. This message is AUTO generated.

Update: As of today I have completed 5 DDs.
Here is what I can report:

• It’s absolutely stupefying what you can get done in a day when you are able to be 100% focused and undisturbed for a full 24 hours. This alone is a HUGE benefit and a reason why everyone should commit to 100 DDs, and every leader should insist each of their people do so as well.
• In the stillness I am able to access a creative depth I would not have otherwise.
• During a DD I experience a great decompression of frenetic energy build up which has all sorts of additional benefits.
• Knowing I am not expected to be available gives me great emotional and psychological relief, thus full access to my power of presence.
• It’s training everyone around me not to be dependent on me, thus taking more leadership themselves
• http://darrenhardy.success.com/2015/01/disconnected-days/ 

Stephen Covey on Developing Emotional Intelligence

“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” ? Oscar Wilde
Emotional Intelligence is essentially an ability, capacity, or skill to assess, manage, and regulate the emotions of yourself and others.
Why is emotional intelligence such a big deal? …
If you can’t manage your emotions, you crumble or snap under stress. If you can’t manage your emotions, you can’t motivate or inspire yourself effectively to do the things you need to do.  If you can’t manage your emotions, you can’t use your best thinking.  You get stuck in your lizard brain, and cut off from your ability to respond more effectively when it counts.
If you can’t tune into others’ emotions and demonstrate empathy, you’ll have a hard time connecting with others.  You’ll have a hard time creating rapport.  If you can’t see and feel the emotions of others, then you’ll have a hard time influencing or leading others effectively.  As a manager, you’ll be the pointy-haired boss.
Yeah, emotional intelligence is a big deal.
It’s a key for leaders and it’s a key for leadership.  Whether it’s self-leadership, or leading others, emotional intelligence picks up where other intelligence leaves off.  To put it another way …
“”No one cares how much you know until they first know how much you care about them.” (See The Only Management Strategy You’ll Ever Need)
In the book, The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness, Stephen Covey acknowledges that there’s a lack of literature on how to develop emotional intelligence, and shares an approach for how to develop emotional intelligence using the 7 Habits.

The Five Primary Components of Emotional Intelligence

Stephen Covey shares the five primary components of emotional intelligence:

1. Self-Awareness — The ability to reflect on one’s own life, grow in self-knowledge, and use that knowledge to improve onseself and either consume or compentsate for weaknesses.
2. Personal Motivation — What really excites people — the vision, values, goals, hopes, desires, and passion that make up their priorities.
3. Self-Regulation — The ability to manage onseself twoard achieving one’s vision and values.
4. Empathy — The ability to see how other people see and feel about things.
5. Social Skills — How people resolve differences, solve problems, produce creative solutions, and interact optimally to further their joint purposes.

The 7 Habits and Principles

According to Stephen Covey, here is a simple look at the 7 Habits and the principles that they encapsulate:

Habit	Principle
Habit 1 – Be Proactive	Responsibility / Initiative
Habit 2 – Begin with the End in Mind	Vision / Values
Habit 3 – Put First Things First	Integrity / Execution
Habit 4 – Think Win-Win	Mutual Respect / Benefit
Habit 5 – Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood	Mutual Understanding
Habit 6 – Synergize	Creative Cooperation
Habit 7 – Sharpen the Saw	Renewal

Developing Emotional Intelligence Using the 7 Habits

Stephen Covey shares an approach to developing emotional intelligence using the 7 Habits outlines above:

Emotional Intelligence Component	Habit
Self-Awareness	Habit 1 – Be Proactive
Personal Motivation	Habit 2 – Begin with the End in Mind
Self-Regulation	Habit 3 – Put First Things First Habit 7 – Sharpen the Saw
Empathy	Habit 5 – Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
Social Skills	Habit 4 – Think Win-Win Habit 5 – Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood Habit 6 – Synergize

Practicing Your Emotional Intelligence with the 7 Habits

Here is a brief summary of how Stephen Covey says you can practice the 7 Habits to develop your emotional intelligence:

1. Self-Awareness – Covey says, “You are aware of the space between stimulus and response, you’re aware of your genetic, biological inheritance, your upbringing, and the environmental forces around you. … You  sense you are or can become the creative force of your own life.  This is your most fundamental decision.” Practice Habit 1 – Be Proactive.
2. Personal Motivation – Covey says, “… decide what your highest priorities, goals, and values are. … This decision to direct your own life is your primary decision.” Practice Habit 2 – Begin with the End in Mind.
3. Self-Regulation – Covey says, “ … once you decide what your priorities are, then you live by them; it is the habit of integrity, the habit of self-mastery, of doing what you intend to do; of living your values.  Then constantly renew yourself.  Execution strategies and tactical decisions are your secondary decisions.” Practice Habit 3 – Put First Things First and Habit 7 – Sharpen the Saw.
4. Empathy – Covey says, “It’s learning to transcend your own autobiography  and get into the head and hearts of other people.  It’s becoming socially sensitive and aware of the situation before attempting to be understood, influence others, or make decisions or judgments.” Practice Habit 5 – Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood.
5. Social Communication Skills – Covey says, “You think in terms of mutual benefit and mutual respect, you strive for mutual understanding in order to have creative cooperation.” Practice Habit 4 – Think Win-Win, Habit 5 – Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood, and Habit 6 – Synergize.

One simple way you can practice each day is when you are talking.  See if you can echo back what you hear the other person say, in a way that they “feel” heard.  This is a big deal.  It’s not listening until you think you’ve heard them … it’s listening in a way where they *feel* you’ve heard them.
The difference, is all the difference.  That’s what this is about.http://sourcesofinsight.com/stephen-covey-on-developing-emotional-intelligence/

Personal Development-Self Awareness

How Brian Tracy Sets Goals

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” — T. S. Eliot
Brian Tracy has an twelve-step goal-setting methodology that he’s taught to more than a million people. If you follow his approach …
You will amaze yourself.
With his goal-setting methodology, he’s seen people transform.  They are astounded by what they start to accomplish.  They become a more powerful, positive, and effective person.  They feel like a winner every hour of the day.  They have a tremendous sense of personal control and direction.  They have more energy and enthusiasm.
And, as a result, they accomplish more in a few weeks or months than the average person might accomplish in several years.
In his best-selling book, Goals!: How to Get Everything You Want — Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible, Brian Tracy shows us a repeatable approach and proven practice for setting and achieving any goal.

12 Steps to Set and Achieve Any Goal

Here are the 12 steps to set and achieve any goal according to Tracy:

1. Have a Desire: What Do You Really Want?
2. Believe That Your Goal is Achievable
3. Write Your Goal Down
4. Determine Your Starting Point
5. Determine Why You Want It
6. Set a Deadline
7. Identify the Obstacles in Your Way
8. Determine the Additional Knowledge and Skills You Need
9. Determine the People Whose Help You Will Need
10. Make a Plan: Put It All Together
11. Visualize Your Goal Continually
12. Never Give Up

Never giving up means backing everything you do with persistence and determination.  It means resolving in advance that you will never give up, and making the decision, long before you face any obstacles or difficulties , that you will stick with it until you reach your goal.
According to Tracy, this form of mental preparation can do more to help you than almost any other factor.

Bringing It All Together

Tracy boils down how to put goal setting and goal planning all together:

1. Make a list of at least 10 goals for the next 12 months.  Take out a clean sheet of paper and at the top of the page write the word “Goals” with today’s date.  Make a list of at least 10 goals that you want to accomplish within the next 10 months.  Write the goals in the present tense, such as, “I weigh X number of pounds,” or “I earn X number of dollars this year.”
2. Identify your Major Definite Purpose.  Read through your list of goals and select the one that answers this question: “What one goal on this list, if I accomplished it, would have the greatest possible impact on my life?”  This becomes the goal that you will use for the 12-part goal-setting process above.
3. Apply the 12-step goal-setting process.  Now that you have selected a goal that you really want and believe you can achieve it, write your goal on a separate sheet of paper, and set a deadlines.  Write out a list of reasons you want to achieve this goal.  Identify the obstacles that stand between you and the attainment of this goal.  Identify the knowledge and the skills you will need to achieve the goal.  Identify the people whose cooperation and support you’ll need.  Make a plan to accomplish this goal.  Take action on your plan and do something every day that moves you toward your goal.  Visualize your goal continually as if you had already achieved it, and resolve that you will never give up until you are successful.

In my experience, one of the best ways to actually do the process is to pair up with somebody or to setup a small group of people and go through the exercise together.  You’ll learn from each other, inspire each other, and you’ll enjoy the process more.http://sourcesofinsight.com/brian-tracy-on-12-steps-to-set-and-achieve-any-goal/