Friday, 31 October 2014

 

 

 

Why Keeping Your Commitments Is Critical to Your Influence

When we think of someone with integrity, we think of someone we can count on to come through on what they promise. Unfortunately, that’s not always a safe bet today.
Why Keeping Your Commitments Is Critical to Your Influence
Photo courtesy of iStockphoto.com/lolostock
Over the last several years I’ve noticed a change in the way we use the word integrity. The word used to mean staying true to your word—even if it’s difficult, inconvenient, or expensive. But today I hear more and more people using the word as if it means being true to themselves—even if that means leaving someone else to clean up the mess.
This might look like a win if we’re trying to save ourselves from difficulty and discomfort, but it will come back to bite us in the end. Nothing destroys our credibility faster than bailing on a commitment.
The phrase “To thine own self be true” comes from Shakespeare’s Hamlet, but it became popular through self-help books and programs. There’s nothing wrong with these words by themselves, but they’re usually taken out of context.
If you’ve ever read or seen the play you know the full story. The phrase comes after advice about being prudent and preserving friendships. The idea is that we are true to ourselves so that others can count on what we say. That was having integrity.
But if you listen to the way people use it today, they usually mean something else. “To thine own self be true” is often used as an excuse to do whatever a person wants instead of what’s expected—or even what they’ve already committed to. This is suicide in business—and the rest of life.
Not only is integrity essential for strong friendships, it’s crucial for all of our relationships. “Honesty,” says Stephen Covey, “is making your words conform to reality. Integrity is making reality conform to your words.” We won’t get far in life without it.
Just think about your work. Without the kind of integrity Covey describes, you cannot be an effective leader. Why?
  1. Trust depends on integrity. If people can’t rely on your word, they won’t trust you. They may extend some grace, but eventually people will doubt and disbelieve.
  2. Influence depends on trust. People will refuse the influence of leaders they distrust. Just look at how this plays out in politics or the media. We follow people we trust.
  3. Impact depends on influence. You can’t make the impact you want unless you can influence others and shift their behavior.
Now think of other relationships: marriage, parenting, church, whatever. The strength of our relationships is measured by how much people can count on us. If we’re not true to our words, that means our relationships will be as unreliable as we are.
Yes, keeping our word can sometimes be very costly. I’ve had times in my career when it’s been very expensive to do the right thing. Once I had to pull the plug on a multimillion dollar project we desperately needed to make our numbers.
Another time I had to uphold an exorbitant commitment of an executive I let go, even though he didn’t have the authority to make the agreement in the first place. The P&L was already hemorrhaging, but the cost of not following through would have been more expensive to the company in the long run.
There’s nothing wrong with asking to be released from a commitment. But if we can’t get free, then we need to make good on it. If we try living true to ourselves at the expense of others, it’ll cost us our relationships, our success, ultimately everything of real and lasting value.
 
 

Wednesday, 29 October 2014

improve self esteem

3 Ways to Kick Your Comfort Zone in the Teeth and Create Lasting Change!

Posted on by JulianMeyer |
“Growth demands a temporary surrender of security” – Gail Sheehy
Your comfort zone, believe it or not, has too many teeth left. The fact is if you don’t stop it now it will puncture your artery and suck the life out of you bit by bit. Sometimes we do not even realize this until it is too late and then we feel too weak to make a change. Your comfort zone has your best interests at heart. Sounds weird I know. Although you comfort zone is like a bloodsucking vampire it has good intentions. It’s intentions are to keep you at ease, happy and confident. It will keep you warm and fluffy at all times. Something that we have to recognize though is that slowly but surely it is gulping the life out of you. Opportunities for personal growth are passing you by. Every time your comfort zone wins the tug-of-war its teeth grows bigger.

3 Ways you can use to kick your comfort zone in the teeth:

1. Realize that nothing good comes from staying in your comfort zone. In order to make lasting change we need to identify our limiting beliefs. Example: For a very long time I struggled against the feeling of being comfortable in my bed and not waking up early to exercise and meditate. And believe me I had many rationalizations for not getting up. I would tell myself over and over that I am entitled to sleep longer because I work hard. Now in itself the statement is not untrue. I do work hard and I can sleep longer. However, sleeping longer is not a healthier choice and keeps me from being fit and therefore I need to get up and busy with my morning routine. So the first thing that will help us to break through our comfort-zone is to change our limiting beliefs.
  • I can never stand in front of people and talk, I am just not that kind of person
  • I would never be able to wake up at 5 in the morning to exercise
  • I just can’t seem to finish my projects
  • I am too old to change
  • I have a sweet tooth and that is just how I am
Sounds familiar?
2. Man (or woman)-up and put on your jacket. It’s cold out there. Change your beliefs about your world and break free! So now we know that one way our comfort-zone keeps us demobilized is by creating beliefs about why we cannot and should not change. So how do we change our belief about something? One way is to analyze and test the belief. Let’s take the belief that I would never be able to wake up at 5 in the morning to exercise. media1 Step1: Look at words that are generalizing, distorting or deleting information. Like in our case the word “NEVER”. “Never” is a really long time. This is a distortion of time. What do you base our assumption on? Just because you haven’t done it before does not mean that you can not do it  in future.
Step2: Look at the self-imposed limits or rules. You don’t have to wake up at 5. You don’t have to wake up at 5. You can start small. Just try and wake up 15minutes before your alarm.
Step3: Look for positive spin-offs. Remember we as humans move towards pleasure. What are the positive /pleasurable spin-offs that will come from you exercising? You will feel energized and less lethargic during you day. You will feel good about yourself. You will be healthy and therefore can give more to the people around you So in conclusion you can see that this belief doesn’t have arguable legs to stand on and is therefore false and can be changed.
3. Face your fear and grab the bull by its horns or the vampire by its teeth, but nonetheless you will have to get your hands dirty. After you have changed your believe you will have no excuse to break free from your comfort-zone. What is the easiest way to do this? It’s by facing you fears. You know what is flabbergasting is that once you faced your fears you might realize that it isn’t so bad! The first time you have to talk in-front of a lot people it might feel like hell, but once you are doing it you realize that it is fun and that your fears just dissolve. Like Nike says: “Just do it!” Comfort zones are really just self-imposed limits that we put on ourselves. Remember the three steps to break free are:
  1. Realize that nothing good comes from staying in your comfort zone.
  2. Change your beliefs about your world and break free!
  3. Face your fear and grab the bull by its horns. Get your hands dirty and “just do it”.
Choose one area of your life that is ruled by your comfort zone and apply the three step approach and have absolute conviction that you are strong enough to kick your comfort-zone in the teeth. Do you have other methods of breaking free from your comfort-zone? Please share with us in your comments.


Read more at http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/get-out-of-your-comfort-zone/#P7HoGDlqXJMuDbQc.99

Monday, 27 October 2014

Setting Strong Boundaries: Overcome The Need To Say “Yes” All the Time

Happy Woman
“We must never forget that it is through our actions, words, and thoughts that we have a choice.” ~Sogyal Rinpoche
Just a few short years ago, I would have relished in being called a “yes person.”
I loved that label. I thought it made me approachable, helpful, and charitable, and I loved being “top of mind” for so many people and wonderful opportunities.
Big project at work? I was there. A shoulder to cry on? You bet. A shopping buddy? Sure, I’m available! An exercise partner, a counselor, an interior designer, a cook, a cleaner, a proofreader, a tour guide—I was the go-to girl for anything and everything.
And for a very long time, I said a big, resounding “yes, please!” to all of it.
Yes to the design work, yes to the extra projects, yes to the friends who needed me. I was an advice-giver, a support network, a teacher, a healer.
But during the throes of helping what seemed like a million different people, my “yes person” mentality started to drain me—and rapidly at that.
Sure enough, I was helping everyone but myself.
It was only when I started to read spiritual texts and personal development websites that I began to realize how exhausted I actually was. And worse, that it was most likely my need to say “yes” all the time (a trait I had previously cherished), that was burning me out.
Here I was saying “yes” to every offer, invitation, and request under the sun, yet I’d wind up sick, alone, and hacking my lungs out more often than I’d like to admit.
I knew I had to overcome my incessant need to say “yes” all the time and start prioritizing self-care, so I went about setting strong boundaries for myself to start restoring my energy.
Below are the steps I took to set my strong boundaries and overcome my need to say “yes” all the time. 

1. Speak up. 

I knew I had to start small, so I gradually began to let people know how depleted I was feeling.
As it turned out, people weren’t annoyed at me for talking about how tired I was; in fact, they supported me and encouraged me to take time out and rest. It gave me the confidence I needed to start saying “no” once in a while. It wasn’t a sign of weakness that I was speaking out; it was a sign of strength.
Another good reason to start speaking up about your fatigue, particularly if you’re a “yes” person, is to pre-emptively ward off peoples’ requests. When I authentically talked about how tired or busy I was, I found that people didn’t call on me as much as they used to, because they were already aware of how I burnt out I was feeling.

2. Make self-care non-negotiable.

You know that big meeting at work you literally can’t miss? Or the way you lock in the weekly screening of your favorite TV show? Make your self-care routine as rigid as that—make it non-negotiable.
When you start making self-care a priority (and enact strong boundaries around your routine), you’re able to fill your cup more fully, and work on being as healthy and happy as possible.
Here are some examples from my self-care routine:
  •  I schedule a massage once a month, and I make sure I budget for it in advance, too.
  • I turn off all technology by 9:30pm. Not only do I sleep better for it, but also I find that I’m reading more books instead of just mindlessly scrolling on yet another social media site.
  • I now only check my email twice a day; I find I’m less overwhelmed from implementing this practice and am no longer a slave to my inbox.
  • I move my body every day. Whether it’s a work out at the gym, a few stretches in my hotel room, or a long walk if I’m on the road, moving my body every day is an essential part of my self-care routine and helps keep my energy levels high.
  • I eat vegetables at every meal—a green smoothie or juice with breakfast, a big salad at lunch, and a huge serving of vegetables at dinner. Vegetables (in particular, green vegetables) are my must-have staple item. They keep my head clear and my body energized.
  • I forgo my morning routine if necessary. Some days, a full-on morning routine calls me, but when I genuinely need to sleep in and recover, I surrender and give myself permission to do so. It’s about knowing the difference between “laziness” and genuine “rest.” One feels icky (laziness) and one feels like relief (rest).
After enacting these strong boundaries around my self-care and energy use, my health started to return to its optimum state. It was only then that I was able to start saying “yes” again—but this time, only to projects and people that really lit me up.

3. Hold strong when others test your boundaries.

Even now after having rock-solid boundaries for years, others test them. I have to consciously remind myself to hold strong.
When others test your boundaries, choose to think of it as your chance to prove to the universe that you can keep your own promises.
For example, if you’re the kind of person who needs sunshine but you work in an office where nobody takes their lunch break, stick to your guns.
If people shake their heads every time you head out to get your Vitamin D hit, stick to your boundaries and hold your ground—explain to your boss why you need to get out of the office or even draw their attention to the working hours policy in your area. Better yet, use your work to prove that your productivity is higher due to your lunch breaks!
When you use strategies to help you say “no,” sticking to your boundaries when others test them makes the whole process a lot easier.

4. Learn how to say “no.”

Perhaps the hardest lesson when you’re setting strong boundaries is learning how to say “no.” After all, when you’ve been a “yes person” your whole life, it can be very difficult to turn that habit around, but it’s important to master if you want to have strong boundaries.
Here are some strategies to help you say no:
  • Practice saying it in a mirror.
  • Have some polite, pre-scripted text messages and emails on hand so you you’re not stuck trying to find the words to say “no.”
  • Try saying “not right now” instead of a flat out “no.” (Often, the request will disappear!)
  • Let your friends and family know that you need some space (pre-empt the need for them to call on you).
Saying no can be difficult—by nature, we humans want to be helpful and kind—but ultimately, you need to be helpful and kind to yourself, first and foremost. And saying “no” does get easier with practice, I promise.

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/setting-strong-boundaries-overcome-need-say-yes-all-the-time/

Tuesday, 21 October 2014

self improvement tips

15 Happiness Quotes to Inspire You to Live Your Best Life

Life is what you make of it – so why not make yours happy? In the face of challenge, defeat, disappointment, discouragement, tragedy, and failure, it can sometimes be difficult to focus on the positive. But if you understand that your emotions start from within, you have the power to create a vibrant, fulfilling and happy existence – the life that you’ve always dreamed of.
If you’re ready for inspiration and motivation to create a life of happiness, read on!
15 Happiness Quotes to Inspire You to Live Your Best Life
1) “Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.” -Jim Rohn
2) “Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.” -Paulo Coelho 
3) “If you want happiness for an hour – take a nap.
If you want happiness for a day – go fishing.
If you want happiness for a year – inherit a fortune.
If you want happiness for a lifetime – help someone else.” -Chinese Proverb 
4) “Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind than on outward circumstances.” -Benjamin Franklin
5) “When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” -Helen Keller
6) “Happiness depends upon ourselves.” -Aristotle
7) “You’re going to go through tough times – that’s life. But I say, ‘Nothing happens to you, it happens for you.’ See the positive in negative events.” -Joel Osteen
8) “It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes us happy.” -Charles Spurgeon
9) “Happiness is a habit – cultivate it.” -Elbert Hubbard
10) “Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.” -Marianne Williamson
11) “If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or objects.” -Albert Einstein
12) “In order to carry a positive action we must first develop a positive vision.” -Dalai Lama
13) “Winners make a habit of manufacturing their own positive expectations in advance of the event.” -Brian Tracey 
14) “Be happy with what you have and are, be generous with both, and you won’t have to hunt for happiness.” -William E. Gladstone
15) “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” -Herman Cain.

http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/15-happiness-quotes-inspire-live-best-life/

Wednesday, 15 October 2014

self improvement tips

10 Ways to Immediately Improve Your Life

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive.  And then go and do that.  Because what the world needs is people that have come alive.” -Harold Thurman  
If you are anything like me, you have probably had days (if not weeks) when you have felt a little stalled.
Perhaps you have felt stuck in a rut.  Time might have passed by while you were on autopilot.  You may have even questioned when life will really begin.
In contrast to this feeling, an enlivened life is one that we are excited about living.  We feel energized and awake for even the most ordinary moments.  When we are excited about our lives, we have something to look forward to and find rich meaning in our experiences.
When we think about what it would take to get excited about life, we sometimes think “but I’m just me,” as if telling ourselves that we aren’t good enough or don’t have the skills or resources to feel alive.  In reality, being “just me” is all we ever need to be.
Making any change, even a change for the better, can be a bit daunting.  Change can also be uncertain or risky.  It can feel awkward and unnatural at first, though it is completely normal for it to take a month of daily practice before a new behavior becomes habit.
When the results aren’t immediate we may question whether our efforts are working, and it can be tempting to slide back into old ways.
Rest assured that you don’t need to turn your life upside down to liven things up.  The truth is, coming alive doesn’t require impressive accomplishments or colossal life changes.  Getting excited about your life doesn’t require thrilling adventure, fame, or wealth, either.
We can all get excited by our lives by making a few small adjustments to our attitudes and our habits.  These small changes often come with an added bonus: positive change begets further positive change.
Below are 10 ways to enliven your life:  
Counteract negativity with positivity. 
Negativity is pretty stealthy.  It may creep in and soon become automatic and pervasive.  Slowly but surely, it dampens our spirits and robs us of our excitement for living.
Counteract negativity from others and yourself by responding with positivity, warmth, and optimism.  Instead of gossiping, channel envy into positive change.  Ban 2-3 negative labels or phrases from your vocabulary for 1 month.
Look for the lesson that difficult situations may be trying to teach you.  Think of them as presenting you with the opportunity to practice patience and perseverance, and remind yourself of what is going well outside of the situation.
Practice kindness. 
Practice acts of kindness every day.  Do something kind for yourself.  Write yourself motivating messages.
Try volunteering or donating to a charity.  Step in and help someone in need.  Even small gestures like holding open a door can carry forward into the rest of your day.
Dedicate time to learning and meaning. 
Every week, work toward learning something new and cultivating your talents.  Try reading a chapter a day, learning a word a day, practicing your math skills, or choosing a topic that you would simply like to learn more about.  Whatever you choose, approach it whole-heartedly.
Investing time in something you care about is really an investment in yourself.  Meaningful activities bring passion and richness to our lives and connect us to similar others.  Learning and meaningful activities are also the antidote to burn-out.
Make and relive memories. 
Time passes, no matter what.  When we are living a more enlivened life, we are more keenly aware of the impermanence of life and keep an eye toward the memories we are creating.
About once a week, do something nostalgic.  Nostalgia is that bittersweet, sentimental feeling that leaves us appreciating meaning and connection in our lives.  Try to create a time capsule, and mark a date on your calendar to reveal the contents.
Take 1-3 pictures a day of something you find inspiring, motivating, funny, or notable.  Fill a photo album with these, and review it at the end of the month.  Start a new tradition with friends and family.
Celebrate. 
So much in life is worth celebrating, yet we often don’t make time for this in our hectic schedules.  When we do choose to celebrate, we can get bogged down under the pressure of expectations.  Make your celebrations fun, meaningful, and frequent.
Celebrate anniversaries, even the small ones.  Focus on the meaning to you, and let go of the nonessential.  Celebrate the silly holidays like Skyscraper Day or Bingo Month.  Make it as big or little a celebration as you like.
Explore. 
How often are we living right next door to something amazing only to admit that we have never really paid attention? Be a tourist in your own home town.  Allow yourself to be excited about the things in your city that are easily taken for granted in daily life.
Do it sooner rather than later. 
It can be tempting to “do it later,” but all too easily we find that later never comes.  When we put off working toward important goals, we become more reactive than proactive.  We can feel overwhelmed as deadlines approach and stress builds, and we can feel defeated if we fail to make the progress we are hoping for.
To reawaken those personal goals that you have been putting off or afraid to start, choose one and commit to working toward it in some small way each day.  Break down large tasks.  Identify the fears that may be holding you back.
Remind yourself why this is important and consider how things might be different when you have reached this goal.  Sometimes simply taking an initial step can increase our commitment to the goal.
Brighten up. 
Not only do we often dress how we feel, but we can also feel how we dress.  About once a week, wear one thing that is a little brighter or more striking than you might usually wear.  The idea isn’t to be a slave to fashion or to focus on appearance, but rather to try on something a little different and notice how it feels.
Face your fears. 
Our fears hold us back, close us off, and make our worlds smaller.  Break out of this confined space by doing something every day that helps you conquer a fear.  You don’t need to overcome the fear all at once.  In fact, taking small steps every day is much more sustainable.  Work through the thoughts and the actions that may keep this fear locked in place.
Make time. 
As addicting as it may be, being busy is not the same as feeling alive.  Quite often, living a more enlivened life simply requires a little more time for living during the day.  Reduce your daily screen and media time by 30 minutes.
Choose 2-3 times per day for laughing, inspiration, and reflection.  Schedule time to work through the items on this list.  Commit to this time by marking it in your planner or setting an alarm.
 Now it’s your turn.  What do you do to enliven your life?

Read more at http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-ways-to-improve-your-life/#Hj5gEqPaIeIvQByq.99

Friday, 10 October 2014

Develop Stronger Willpower in Just Four Weeks

By Lou Hattersley 
 


live_smarter_theme_smallWillpower is one of the greatest human strengths. If only we had more of that mysterious thing called willpower notes The American Psychological Association. “With more self-control we would all eat right, exercise regularly, avoid drugs and alcohol, save for retirement, stop procrastinating, and achieve all sorts of noble goals.”
People with strong willpower can tenaciously stick at tasks, ignore distractions and achieve their big goals. There's little wonder that willpower is a highly prized personality trait.
Researchers at Bond University in Australia recently proved that willpower can be strengthened with practice. This may sound like a Charles Atlas advert: but you can develop stronger willpower in just four weeks. Willpower can be applied to just about any aspect of your life, helping you get whatever you want.
Successful Ghostwriter, Jeff Haden from Inc.com lists five things that people with willpower seem to do:
  • Eliminate as many choices as possible.
  • Make choices tonight that set up tomorrow.
  • Do the hardest thing you need to do first.
  • Refuel frequently.
  • Create reminders of long-term goals.
You can't just become a strong willed person overnight, so here's Lifehacker UK’s four-week plan to successfully building up willpower.

Week 1: Get rid of all your choices

Develop-Stronger-Willpower-Cut-Down-on-Choices
The first thing you need to do is cut down on all the choices you get to make. The more chance you have to choose between positive and negative acts; the more likely you are to get impulsive, and make a bad choice.
Every true ex-smoker will talk about the importance of throwing out all cigarettes and paraphernalia. If you want to check email less then turn off your notifications or switch off your email and check it once an hour. If you want less caffeine and more water then keep a large water bottle on your desk (this prevents you from heading to the kitchen where you'll choose between tea and water).
Make a list of the small things you want to do more of and learn to keep them at hand; conversely learnt to push the things you don’t want as far away from you as possible. Make the good things easier to get to; and the bad things harder to get to. Spend your first week learning to cut down on your choices.

Week 2: Plan for tomorrow and attack the hard stuff first

Develop-Stronger-Willpower-Plan-for-Tomorrow
Once you have dealt with the day-to-day choices, it is time to introduce some forward-thinking. There are two aspects to this next step:
  1. Make decisions today that set you up for tomorrow
  2. Attack the hard stuff early in the day.
Start by planning tomorrow morning in advance. Decide what you are going to wear (and lay it out), pick your breakfast and decide what you will have for lunch (if it's a packed lunch then make it the day before).
You will tempted to think of these as small, dumb things that you do with ease every day. They are, but that is why you are not going to waste any energy on them in the morning. Make sure that you don't have to make a single decision first thing in the morning – save your decision making energy for something important.
This brings us to the second bit. On your to-do list write down the first thing you are going to do at work tomorrow. But don't write any old thing down. Write down the hardest, least pleasant thing on your to-do list.
Putting hard tasks at the top of your daily to-do list in an old Lifehacker trick, because you do it when you are full of energy and the day gets easier as you go on. And because you have already sorted out all the small decisions of the morning you have all your energy directed at this one, tough task. Nail it!
So you should know these four things before you put your head to sleep:
  • What you are going to wear.
  • What you are going to eat.
  • Where you are going to go.
  • What is the first thing you are going to do when you get there.

Week 3: Keep your glucose levels up

Develop-Stronger-Willpower-Glucose
Research has shown for a number of years that glucose levels are linked to willpower. A study at Texas University found that “self-control relies on glucose as a limited energy source.” And that every act of self-control caused glucose to drop below optimal levels, impairing any further attempt at self-control.
So it is a case of healthy body; healthy mind (or at least well-controlled mind). There is no shortage of tips for keeping glucose levels high. Here are some of our favourites:
  • Eat protein for breakfast: eggs, fish and porridge or oats are a good start to the day.
  • Cut down on wheat and carbs and try to include protein with every meal.
  • Eat small, frequent meals.
  • Eat more natural unrefined food: past, brown rice, rye and whole wheat bread.
  • Drink healthy energy drinks.
Another tip is to gargle energy drinks. The British Psychological Society suggests gargling energy drinks saying “it may not even be necessary to consume sugar to boost your self-control levels - simply swirling a glucose drink around your mouth also does the trick.”

Week 4: Create totemic objects for your long term goals

Develop-Stronger-Willpower-Totemic-Reminders
So far you will have spent a lot of time physically and mentally strengthening your willpower, but that is only useful if you focus it on what’s important in your life.
In the final week you need to create physical totemic objects that remind you about long term goals. These can be anything you want, but it is important to make them physical real-world items.
Despite all your willpower strength training you will still be mentally fatigued from time to time, and you will make poor decisions. The physical objects remind you about what is important, Jeff Haden says:
A friend has a copy of his bank note taped to his computer monitor as a constant reminder of an obligation he must meet. Another keeps a photo of himself when he weighed 50 pounds more on his refrigerator as a constant reminder of the person he never wants to be again. Another fills his desk with family photos, both because he loves looking at them and to remind himself of the people he is ultimately working for.
Step back from the daily grind and think about what you want from life. What are your big overarching goals? Not just for the next week, or month but for life in general. The totems will help you stay focused.   http://www.lifehacker.co.uk/2014/07/16/develop-stronger-willpower-just-four-weeks 

Tuesday, 7 October 2014

self improvement

5 Common Mistakes That Kill Your Motivation

Motivation is the driving force behind our actions. More motivation to do the right things is therefore one of the most common desires people have. But having motivation sometimes means not doing the things that kill it.
Do you make any of these five mistakes that kill your motivation to do what matters?
Each reason includes a powerful technique to help you overcome it and stay motivated.

1. You Wait For It

Motivation is based on your emotions and environment. The best way to increase your motivation, then, is to change your emotions or environment. But how do you do that?
Take action. It can change your emotions and environment at the same time.
Many people believe they need motivation to take action, but it more commonly follows action. Think about your motivation levels prior to and during a workout. Once you begin, do you notice an increase in motivation to finish? Of course, because nothing is more motivating than taking action, which triggers an emotional shift and changes your environment in one fell swoop.
How To Overcome Waiting For It
The way to take action before you’re motivated is to aim for the first small step. This works because it doesn’t require much motivation, and yet it triggers additional motivation. To work out, begin by getting your gym clothes on. To write, open your word processor (and write one sentence).
If you always wait for motivation to come first, you’ll be waiting half your life. And waiting for motivation is often demotivating! But if you get the process started, your emotional state and motivation will align with what your body is already doing.

2. You Don’t Believe In Yourself

Motivation is very sensitive to your beliefs. If you want to get in great shape, but don’t fully believe that your gym efforts will get you there, then you won’t be motivated to go to the gym. Psychologists call this self-efficacy, which is your belief in your ability to influence an outcome.
How To Overcome Self Doubt
If you don’t believe that taking action will change your life in a meaningful way, do some research. Read stories of others who have done it and focus on the cause and effect of their actions. It can be difficult to believe you can do something you’ve never done, and that’s what hurts motivation. But if you do your research and take action (with small steps), your beliefs will change, and your motivation to continue will increase.

3. You Let Short-Term Feelings Get In The Way

The word “motivation” has a short-term and long-term meaning. I’m 100% motivated to be fit in general and that never changes. But I’m not always motivated to exercise in this very moment.
In other words, you can want something in general, but not want it in any given moment due to your feelings and circumstances. Because the things we want tend to require hard work and effort, it’s easy to want them, but not want to put the required work in to get them.
How To Overcome Negative Short-Term Feelings 
Accept that you don’t need to feel motivated to work in this moment. It does not have to stop you. It only stops people when they confuse how they feel as being the same as their long-term desires. Again, small steps combat these short-term feelings well because they activate your longer-term, intrinsic motivation.

4. You Lose Track Of Why

For any goal, it’s imperative to remember why you’re pursuing it in the first place. What are the benefits? If you forget about the benefits, your goal is going to seem like an undesirable mountain of work! And there is nothing less motivating than a lot of work without a meaningful reward.
How To Remember Why
I recommend using a vision board to keep you mindful of why you’re putting forth all this effort. Vision boards are visual representations of your goals. They’re so effective because our minds think of concepts in a visual way.

5. You Try Too Much At Once

I’m a firm believer in aiming for small goals that can be built higher. Most people aim high immediately because the allure of the big reward gives them a motivating surge at first. This backfires, however, when they enter the inevitable “grind” phase of goal pursuit. This is when the reward seems distant, yet the work is demanding. How unmotivating!
How To Overcome Unrealistic Goals 
Start small to keep your goal unintimidating; even when the reward seems distant, your workload will be bearable and you’ll be able to push through to bigger and better things. When you aim for the sure win, you’re much less likely to get discouraged and lose your motivation.
If you want to create healthy new habits and traditional techniques haven’t worked, take a look at the best-selling Mini Habits book. The mini habits strategy has all of the advice in this article built into it. It changed my life in areas of fitness, health, reading, and writing. And depending on when you read this, Mini Habits might be on a big sale right now!

Read more at http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/5-common-mistakes-kill-motivation/#jOkXFAjGV036xWZV.99