What Makes Successful People Succeed by Brian Tracy

How To Get Your Confidence Back

MARCH 11, 2015

It happens to everyone eventually – something deeply rattles your confidence. You lose a job, mess up at work, receive tough feedback, or are otherwise set back on your heels. If it’s bad enough, then your very vision of yourself gets cracked, and you can even begin to wonder what your strengths really are.

Given the importance of confidence, if we lose it, how then can we get it back?

In their online book, Catalyst, the founders of G5 Learning explain how confidence and competence are intertwined to create success.

However, without confidence, competence will only get you so far. Authors Smith and Marcum write: “Why do people with deep, distinct strengths, unfaltering motivation, and who dedicate themselves tirelessly to reaching their potential, fall short of their own expectations? In a word, confidence.”

According to research, women suffer from a lack of confidence more so than men. A 2011 study by the Institute of Leadership and Management surveyed British managers about how confident they feel in their jobs. Half of the female managers expressed a degree of doubt about their job performance while less than one third of male respondents expressed the same doubt. In another study, Brenda Major, a social psychologist at the University of California at Santa Barbara, asked men and women how they thought they were going to do on a variety of tasks. The results? She found that “men consistently overestimated their abilities and subsequent performance, and that the women routinely underestimated both.”

Even if women have more confidence doubts, there’s still plenty of insecurity to go around. As Smith and Marcum point out, the key to raise confidence is to rise above others’ (and your own) distorted images of yourself. As they say, it “isn’t controlled with an on-off switch. Instead it’s a constant stream of psychological strength that either sustains you, or is short-circuited by degrees of invincibility and doubt.”

So how do we boost our confidence when we need it most? Here are a few strategies:

1. Even when it’s hard, keep taking risks.

When we feel that we’ve failed, we often want to take ourselves out of the game, lick our wounds, and avoid risk. That’s the worst thing we can do.

Inaction keeps us mired in the space of loss. It’s only action which can create success and, in turn, confidence.

As Churchill famously said: “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Or if you prefer Joni Mitchell: “Action is the antidote to despair.”

2. Give yourself some small wins.

There’s no doubt that success breeds confidence, but it doesn’t have to be a huge one to help you build your confidence back.

Put yourself in a position to do incremental activities that capitalize on your strengths. Repeated, small wins can slowly bring you back to appreciating your talents.

3. Get perspective with a dose of appreciation.

If a failure is particularly stinging, it can overtake our thoughts and quickly get blown out of proportion. Find a way to take a step back and put it in the larger picture. Did you lose a promotion? Consider how many successes you’ve had to get to the place you are today. One promotion lost in a career is not a dead-end. 

Seek out friends and colleagues who appreciate what you do. If you can share the failure in a safe environment, you can gain the viewpoint that others have of you. We are always our harshest critics.

4. Stop comparing yourself to others.

One of the reasons that failure hurts is that we are concerned about what others will think of us. Rationally we may know that it doesn’t matter, but you just have to look at Facebook behavior to see how comparative we all are.

If your failure results in someone else’s success, try not to make it a zero sum game. Your losing a promotion now doesn’t mean you won’t get one later. Come from a place of abundance – there are more opportunities if this one didn’t go your way.

5. Try to find the hidden gem of learning.

No one can be perfect all of the time, and we all fail. When we do, if we can dig deep and see the failure as a chance to learn, we can use it to our advantage. If we can reframe, we may even find a positive message lying hidden inside.

It really is all about the journey. Failure teaches us the most lasting lessons. We get stronger. We learn more about ourselves. We gain perspective. And we go on.

When you do overcome your failures, remember to not hide them. Showing vulnerability can actually make you more influential and inspiring to others. We are drawn to those who have failed and gone on to success. It’s what makes you human…and just like the rest of us.

http://kristihedges.com/2015/03/11/get-confidence-back/

5 Lessons to Learn from General Julius Ceasar

5 Lessons Every Entrepreneur Needs to Learn From Julius Caesar To Dominate

Image credit | nationalfilmboard

If you’re really pumped up on success, you probably call the company you’re building (or planning to build)“Your Empire.” But do you really know what it takes to build an empire? Do you know how to dominate your world and climb to the top rank of entrepreneurship?

If there ever was a man who knew, it was Julius Caesar. The Julius Caesar: the man who built ancient Rome into the seat of the great Roman Empire practically single-handedly. And although times have changed quite a bit since Julius Caesar was around, there are still five important lessons on building your brand to imperial status and achieving true success that every modern entrepreneur should learn from the man who built Rome.

1. Don’t simply claim your value. Prove it.

When Caesar was a young man (and still a nobody), he was captured by pirates. Twice. When his second captors said they would ask 25 talents as ransom, Caesar laughed in their face. That was the price his first captors had asked and it was time to up the ante. As crazy as it sounds, Caesar convinced the pirates to ask for 50 talents for his release! Which today would be equivalent to the price of 3,550 pounds of silver. Not a small sum by any means.

But Caesar proved he was worth his salt. After mobilizing all his connections to contribute money for his ransom, Caesar built a small fleet and attacked the pirates, taking back every single penny his friends had paid to the pirates. Not only that, he also killed the pirates, and did the whole of Rome a favor by eliminated a real danger from the seas. If you think about it, that’s a steal for just 50 (refunded) talents!

Hopefully, you won’t have to kill any pirates to prove your entrepreneurial worth. But the question of value comes up just as often today as it did in the ancient world. A lot of people make the mistake of thinking that their value depends on how much clients are willing to pay them for their products or services.

But the truth is that you’re responsible for showing the world where your real value stands. And the trick to that? Is having the confidence to over-deliver on your promises. Don’t just claim you’re worth 50 talents (or 50 million dollars). And don’t just throw a price on your website hoping, praying, and wishing, people will take the bait and believe you. Go out there and kill it.

Show everybody that those 50 talents they’re paying for you? They’re really a steal for someone of your talent and skills.

2. Don’t wait for permission. Get it done.

When Caesar was still studying law—and keeping out of politics—Mithridates of Pontus attacked the Roman frontier in Asia Minor. This frontier was quite a way from Rome, but young Julius Caesar understood the impending threat.

Instead of turning a blind eye and pretending that it wasn’t his problem, he raised a private army and marched to the defense of the attacked towns. By the time the official Roman army got to the scene, the enemy had practically been defeated and Caesar was hailed as a war hero in Rome.

Now, you may not have to fight any real wars, but if you’re ambitious entrepreneur with a dream to conquer the world, you will inevitably come up against some tough situations. And the same two choices that faced Caesar still face you: You can either shrug it off and say it’s not your job, or you can stop waiting for permission and go do it now.

Success doesn’t come from permission. Success comes when you take action and show the world what you’re capable of.

 

3. Manage your time (and everybody else’s)

Back in Caesar’s time, the yearly calendar was all out of whack. With only 355 days in the year, the months kept falling out of pace with the seasons and no one knew what festival they were supposed to be celebrating. (Imagine having New Year’s fall on Halloween. Total chaos.)

Everybody in Rome complained about the calendar, but no one really did anything to fix it. No one but Caesar, that is. Seeing that the Egyptians had a solar calendar that worked much better than the Roman lunar calendar, Caesar changed the entire time system in Rome, creating the Julian calendar of 365 days (plus a leap day every fourth February) that we still use all over the world today. Radical, no?

Time is the most precious thing we have in life, and what we do with our time defines who we ultimately become in life. Don’t let time slip out of your hands without taking full advantage of it. You may not be able to manage everybody’s schedules (and you probably don’t want to, anyway), but you can manage your time for maximum efficiency. Instead of complaining about how busy you are, develop a time management system that works for you.

Chunk out your day, eliminate distractions, stay on track with your to-do list and you’re good to conquer the world.

4. No way across? Build a bridge. And make it sturdy.

While conquering Gaul (modern-day France), Caesar had to deal with some Germanic tribes across the river Rhine that were harassing his army. The problem? Caesar didn’t have boats to cross the river. The solution? Build a bridge. And not just any ol’, made-to-last-two-days bridge. Caesar built two bridges (in two different years of the war) that not only proved strategically successful, but that are still considered masterpieces of military engineering today.

You may not have to cross the Rhine any day soon, but if you’re doing innovative work, sooner or later you’ll have to push the envelope to places it has never been before. And in those moments you have to remember that exceptional success requires exceptional steps.

No solution in sight? Take it as your opportunity to shine and build something new. Existing solution doesn’t match up to your standards? Build something better. Forge a new path. And not just for yourself, but for everyone who’ll come after you, too.

 

5. Blog about your experiences and what you’ve learned.

Would you believe me if I told you that Caesar used to blog? Not on the internet of course. But Caesar used to keep a traditional “log” of all his expeditions, written with a feather pen on papyrus. (Weren’t those the days!) While fighting the Gallic and the Civil Wars, Caesar wrote about his army, his strategy, his tactics, his decisions, his successes and setbacks, and generally everything he faced every day.

And he didn’t just write in a “dear diary” format. He wrote some of the best prose any Roman author ever did and published his work in Rome so people could follow his expeditions and stay informed on his progress.

And if Caesar could write while fighting wars on the frontiers, then you have no reason not to be blogging about your entrepreneurial trials and successes from the comfort of your couch. Regular contact and communication with a supportive audience is important for success, especially in today’s ultra-connected online world. You can’t just stay hidden from the world behind your screen until you find success. You’ll never find it.

You have to get out there and put your story out into the world now, as it happens. Because if you don’t share, no one will care. So don’t sit around debating whether a blog is a good idea, get out there and start writing about your adventures and see how true success will come find you along the way.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re fighting pirates or your inner demons, whether you’re managing the world’s calendar or managing your daily schedule, or whether you’re blogging from the campfire or from the coffee shop around the corner.

The essential steps for finding true success remain the same, even if their form has changed. So take a cue (or five) from Caesar’s playbook and go out there to conquer the world today!

http://addicted2success.com/motivation/5-lessons-every-entrepreneur-needs-to-learn-from-julius-caesar-to-dominate/

Conquer Change Part 2

Last week I shared with you why we as humans often struggle with change due to our brain’s threat-reward system. To get you prepped and ready to start conquering change this 2015, let me first share a quote from my mentor Jim Rohn:

“Your life doesn’t get better by chance. Your life only gets better by change.”

Now, let me give you a half-dozen tips on taking control of your brain and regain the master position vs the subservient position to it.

First it’s important to remind you that much of what we do on a daily basis happens without thinking—driving a car, brushing our teeth, opening a refrigerator, browsing the supermarket aisle, even running a meeting. You don’t have to decide consciously which leg to put into your pants first. These simple behaviors have been shaped, repeated behavior now trained and formed as a habit—an unconscious habit.

It’s kind of like a well worn path across a field. If you drive your car over the same path through a field every day, that track will get deeper, more cleared and easier to drive down over time. The rest of the field might get overgrown on either side but the tracks will stay clear. The neural pathways in our brain work the same way. The more we drive down one particular path the easier it becomes.

Changing a habit or embedding a new behavior takes effort and focused attention.
This can feel physiologically uncomfortable and be quite literally painful to over-ride your well worn habits.

So here are six suggestions to hack your brain’s natural tendency to do nothing and stay stuck in the status quo, where it is MUCH more comfy:

1. First, I want you to think BIG.
Think about the person you want to become, the life you want to lead and the contributions you want to make to the world and those in your world.

But then I want you to act small.
Big achievements, grand missions, massive change and transformation come from iterative, small, seemingly insignificant improvements that are compounded over time. You might have heard about that right—it’s called The Compound Effect. If you haven’t, then go towww.TheCompoundEffect.com and buy the book!

Let me just illustrate how simple and profound this can be.
How much do you want to improve in a certain area or skill?
50%? How about 100%? Hey, how about 500%?
No, I’ll tell you what, let’s go for 1,000%.

What?? 1,000% you say?
Yes, how hard do you think it would be for you to improve 1,000% in any area of your life? To be 1,000% better parent or 1,000% better husband or wife or 1,000% better leader or 1,000% smarter investor, business builder or wealth creator. Imagine how dramatically different your life and lifestyle would be if you were 1,000% better than you are now. It would be 1,000% better! Just think of your life 1,000% better than it is now.

Now, you ask, what do you have to do to achieve 1,000% better?
I’m glad you asked. You are probably think it must mean you have to study, practice and sacrifice immensely and make a radical commitment.

Nope.
Here is all it takes, you ready?
Seriously, you ready?
You really ready to improve 1,000%?

Then you just have to improve 1/10th of 1% each work day. That’s only 1/1000th.
You can do that in reading 10 pages of a book dedicated to the improvement in that skill area and applying what you learn. Or spend 30 minutes listening to an audio dedicated to that skill area. That’s it, that’s all it takes.

Do that 1/1000th improvement every work day and that will result in 1/2 1%improvement each work week. That’s still only 2% improvement per month or 26% improvement each year. That growth percentage means you will double your improvement every 2.7 years, thus over 10 years you will have improved 1,000%

Voila! You are now 1,000% better than you were with just small, seemingly insignificant, day to day improvements COMPOUNDED over time.
Yes. It is. That. Simple.
BUT will you do it? THAT is the question.

2. To narrow you down even further I want to strongly suggest that you focus on changing or improving only one habit at a time.

Breaking previous habit patterns will be harder than you think.
I equate it to jumping into a river that is rushing in one direction. If you jump in you can go in the direction of the rushing river with no effort at all, it will carry you the entire way. But if you turn a 180 and start swimming UP the river you will have to fight with all your might, exhausting yourself and still maybe only be making inches of progress, despite all the effort.

Do not underestimate the power and might of your existing neurological habit patterns.
Breaking them can be as difficult as overcoming substance abuse.
The same psychological and emotional neurosystem has to be broken and replaced.
I’ll show you how narrow you have to focus.

BJ Fogg of Stanford University proved that if you want to teach 60 year olds to use an SMS program to help them quit smoking, it won’t work. Those are two new behaviors.  So pick one behavioral modification and habit change at a time. At least only one habit per month so that you’ll be able to focus all your energy on creating that one habit. You can choose any habit . If you are picking choose whatever habit change or improvement you think will have the biggest impact on your life.

3. Now go public.
People are more accountable to other people’s judgment, opinion and view than they are to their own. Use this human weakness as a brain hack. Tell as many people as possible about the new habit you are trying to form. Post it publicly in an online form—Facebook, blog or whatever public forum you want to use. Our pride, ego and desire to avoid public humiliation will be a great parole officer for you.

4. Associate with others who, too, are making that change.
Our brains usually lead us toward the opposite. We seek out people like us, in our current weak state, to avoid change. People who are too heavy, eat poorly, drink too much, watch too much television or play video games and follow other people playing sports tend to find each other and hang out with each other. We tend to find friends and form groups with people who reinforce our beliefs—whether those beliefs are correct or not. When many people agree, it’s easier to overlook or discount undeniable logic.

5. Then track your progress.
You can improve what you don’t measure.
Measure progress every day.

6. Report it.
Make it visible to you and to your public forum. Stories lie, numbers don’t. Report your numbers—to yourself and to the world.

Yes, post your weight scale numbers.
Yes, report your sales figures.
Yes, report your savings account balance.
Whatever the behavior, habit or outcome you are trying to improve: make it public, track it and report it.

So here is your plan for the rest of this month:

1. Pick one habit or behavior to change.

2. Study and improve on it 1/1000th every day—read or listen to something for 30 minutes.

3. Disclose your goal publicly.

4. Find a buddy or a group who are also focused on improving that same habit or behavior.

5. Track it,

6. and finally, report your progress publicly.

Do that once a month and WOW, I think you’d be shocked and amazed at the person you could become, the results you could create and the life you could lead.

http://darrenhardy.success.com/2015/03/conquer-change-2/#article

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10 Motivational Good Reads

We all could use a little “self-help.” And that is probably the reason that the “self-help” sections of book stores are so large – everyone has a program or plan to sell us – one that will change our lives forever! The problem with many of these books are that they are:

• Boring and long
• Impractical for a large segment of the population
• Focus on theory and principles rather than “nuts and bolts” suggestions

So, as I look at “motivational” literature, my picks are those books that have the following traits:

• They are short and, if not, they have enough anecdotes and examples to keep the reader interested
• They offer practical advice – methods by which the reader can change his/her attitudes, thinking or behaviors right now
• Suggestions for improvement are actually realistic – things that all of us can incorporate into our daily lives right away

The other issue with motivational books is that there are just so many of them “out there.” And often, people who want and need to makes changes in their have a tendency to buy one after another, thinking that each new find will have the “magic bullet” to change their lives. The reality is this: if you continue to buy motivational books, even if you actually read them all, you become completely scattered. The way to make changes is to find that one book that “speaks” to you best, forget about all of the others, and focus on the advice that it gives. Read it, read it, and keep reading it (or at least passages of it) on a daily basis. Nothing will “stick” unless you do this.

With all of this in mind, here are my picks for motivational books that have some diversity but that may spark something in you. If one of them does, settle into it exclusively.

You Can Win: by Shiv Khera (1998)

The most famous quote from this book is, “Winners don’t do different things; they do things differently.” While the theme is quite typical, success is built through personal growth, Khera is nonetheless pretty practical about it all. He outlines 7 steps to building self-confidence that are pretty practical; he provides exercises and tools for turning weaknesses into strengths, and emphasizes the concept of “doing the right things for the right reasons.” The book is filled wilI great stories that will hold the readers interest and that model the advice he gives.

The Power of Positive Thinking: by Norman Vincent Peale

This book is not for the faint of heart, because it is rather long and the style is of the 1950’s. It may also not be for those who have a purely secular approach to life. But if you can get over those possible drawbacks, there are principles and very practical suggestions for turning thought and attitude around. For example, if you are feeling depressed, like a failure, or that you have been a victim, make a list of all the blessings in your life. Compare those blessings to the starving child in Ethiopia or the homeless drug addict on the street. This one practical suggestion is the reason why I have a large sign on my refrigerator door still today with just one word – “Gratitude.” I see it several times a day, and it is a constant reminder to follow Peale’s advice.

Who Ate My Cheese?” by Spencer Johnson

Change is inevitable, and I this century it is coming faster than we would ever have envisioned. Our inability to accept and adjust to change is what according to the author, creates unhappiness, stress, and lack of success. The principles of dealing with change, such as learning how to anticipate it and thus prepare for it, are taught through a parable of mice and little people, and the cheese (one’s environment, goals, relationships, etc.) continue to be “moved.” How we respond will determine our happiness and success. This is a short, snappy read, with some great lessons.

Fish: by Steven Lundin

What a great book! It is the fictional tale of a young woman who is suddenly widowed and is the manager of a department that has worst reputation of the entire company – it is unproductive, workers are unhappy, and no one is invested in their task responsibilities. The woman happens to visit Pike Place Fish Market, and things quickly change. If you are unfamiliar with this fish market, it is internationally famous for the fun and laughter (and throwing fish) in the workplace. The department manager ultimate learns the lessons that make the fish market so successful and implements them in her own department with amazing results. There are four basic principles at play here, and they have actually been adopted by well-known companies, such as Southwest Airlines. A great read!

The Butterfly Effect: by Andy Andrews

In the 1960’s, a meteorologist proposed the “butterfly effect” to a room of his colleagues, and was laughed off of the stage. His idea was this: in flapping its wings, a butterfly moves molecules of air which in turn move more molecules of air, and so on until weather patterns are created. Andrews has taken this principle and translated to our lives, to show us that our lives do matter. If you ask yourself the question, “What if I had never been born?” how many other lives would be different today? The major point is that everything you do matters to someone and you may never know how much. This is a short, compelling read. (By the way, contemporary physicists now accept the “butterfly effect”).

Happiness of Pursuit: by Chris Gillebean

This is a book about “questing.” While most of us will never pursue the quests of this author, there are great truths to be learned and very practical steps to be taken to become a “quester” in one’s own environment or to develop the courage to launch a new quest in our lives. The book features short narratives of “questers” from all societal sectors, as it speaks to the basic definition of a “quest” and how we can all find ours.

7 Habits of Highly Successful People: by Steven Covey

We all fall into one of three categories – dependent, independent and interdependent. According to Covey, success comes from interdependence – the ability to collaborate with others to achieve something that we would not be able to achieve alone. From here, he defines and explains the 7 habits that are formed when we are interdependent – habits that make us highly successful in both our work and personal lives. This may not be as fun a read as some other books on this list, but there are practical, realistic methods by which we can change ourselves from within and develop those 7 habits.

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: by Dr. Richard Carlson

Carlson addresses the overwhelming tendency we have to let the small things consume our lives, so that we neglect the big, important stuff. This is a very thoughtful piece with realistic tools to calm down when life is harried and stressful. A lot of the suggestions focus on small changes that we can make in our daily routines and in our responses to others, not the least of which is to get outside our egocentric existence and see the larger picture.

The Greatest Salesman in the World: by Og Mandino

Another parable. Hafid, a young man in ancient Jerusalem is facing the death of his mentor, a successful businessman. ON his deathbed, the mentor gives Hafid a set of scrolls, to be opened one a month. In these scrolls are the secrets to success. Hafid is to focus on only one scroll each month, and this is how the habits of personal empowerment are achieved. The firsts scroll begins with, “Today I begin a new life,” and provides practical advice on the giving up of old negative thoughts and habits. This is a short, quick read, and you will not be bored!

The Richest Man in Babylon: by George S. Clason

Though this book was published in 1926, the financial principles are universal and timeless. For anyone looking to make some important and basic changes in their personal finances, this parable about money management is a must read. Simple, to the point, practical, and short – better advice than even a financial advisor could give.

John Unger is a professional blogger, who likes literature, traveling and meeting new people!

http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-motivational-good-reads/